Thursday, March 06, 2008

Hiatus - Explained

I wasn’t going to write today, but then I couldn’t concentrate until I said some things. If you feel like this post is directed at you? It probably is, but I promise you, that you are not alone, this is not regarding a one time incident, this is regarding multiple incidents and multiple people, and it’s just something that generally needs to be cleared up before I can move forward with this blog.

I am as honest as I can be on this site. I relay stories how they happened, I do not embellish them for the thrill of the story. I steer clear of any controversial topics, because I am not that thick skinned.

I was well prepared for insults from the dumb trolls that might eventually show up, but the majority of my readership is people who actually know me. I think there are only 2 of you I have never met.

Since this site’s inception I have been called a lot of things. Things I am not. Things that were hurtful to me. By people who are supposed to care about me, at least peripherally, and by people I care about. Which, by all means, is worse than being called names by people who you don’t know.

These people called me these things, but they didn’t have the guts to talk to me directly, privately through email or publicly through a comment or even via phone call. They either told my husband, or they told someone else who told my husband. And that’s not fair to him. That he fields these complaints and dutifully brings them home to tell me, speaks volumes of our relationship. He is completely honest with me. And I appreciate that more than anything. (In return, I never ask him if my butt looks big in these jeans, because quite frankly – I don’t want to know if it does.)

But that grapevining of complaints against me? Is not fair to him. He doesn’t write this blog, and it shouldn’t be his responsibility to tell me if you have an issue with something I wrote. He didn’t write it. I did.

So from here on out – any complaints regarding the content of this site should either be left in a comment on the post you hold issue with, or in an email directly to me. My email is at the top of the page. (I will say as a disclaimer that I am more likely to respond to a comment in a timely fashion, because I only check that email maybe once a week.)

Complaints will be handled on a case by case basis. I write from my memory and my perspective, and if yours is different, I can’t help that. When you roll a die, we may both see a 3 on top, but I may also see a 6 facing me and you would see a 1 – that’s a fact.

If what I wrote is truly offensive, like a support of puppycide or something equally ridiculous, I will remove the material. I have already removed a portion of a post that upset someone. I will probably be more likely to add more explanation to things in the future rather than remove material. But you should know that this makes for a much longer and more boring post. Can we assume that I am generally not evil, that I don’t go around tripping children and kicking cats? That when I say “I almost left Landon out on the front porch in his car seat to see who came to get him.” That I don’t also have to add “but I didn’t and of course I never would, because I love him and that would be considered child abuse, and technically I don’t want to actually get rid of him, but he was driving me crazy. And of course by crazy, I don’t mean to insult anyone who has a mental disorder.” I mean, to me? That second part should be a known and I shouldn’t have to state it.

I told Clinton I was considering stopping. He said I can’t please everyone all of the time. And he’s right. (Write that down on your calendar, Clinton.)

Look for pictures on Monday.


Becky said...

Wow. I can't believe people could be offended by your blog. You're one of the least offensive people I've ever met. That said, if these people really want to be offended, send 'em my way. I'd be happy to take over for you and dole out an ass-whuppin'.

I sincerely hope that you do not stop blogging just because someone was upset by something you said. Think of it this way, if someone's pissed by your words, at least you're doing your job.

nonsoccermom said...

That is completely ridiculous. You are very non-controversial. Some people just go around searching for things to be offended by, I think. It would really bug me too, though. I'm sorry that happened!

Mama said...


I'm dreading the day my family starts regularly reading my blog because sadly, they would be the ones to complain and decide that I am unworthy of motherhood or something.

The Modernish Father said...

Sorry to hear about this. I hope you can reach some sort of resolution with the "offended", or at least they'll have the decency to speak to you directly about it at some point.

Don't let them silence you though. Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

Someone once reminded me that other people can not make you feel bad unless you allow them to.

A famous quote by a first lady whose name escapes me at the moment.

While this is true, it doesn't make it any easier to take when someone is accusing you of being a bad mom. No matter who they are.

Just remember that the only reason that it actually does matter what other people think is that it influences what they say about you out loud and how they react to you. These are the things you have to deal with if you don't consider what they'll think

Trust in yourself and hang in there! You're a good mom!

Oh and BTW things do eventually change. Either people start realizing that you might know a little something about raising your kid or you'll just become numb to the talk.

Love you much!