On Beyond Bovine #19 – Broccoli

Bet you thought I forgot about this thing?

Yeah, I’m just a slacker. But since we're trying to do more fresh stuff now, I'll probably have a few more of these.

So the alternative title for this post is “Adventures in overcooked broccoli”

Sounds fun right?

I decided to make Beef and Broccoli from a recipe from The Pioneer Woman’s website, although the recipe is actually from someone else.

So I cut up the broccoli (which I keep trying to spell broccoli.)

And the beef (fun tip: put the meat in the freezer for 10-15 minutes to make slicing it easier.)

Also, new to me are these three ingredients – I had heard of but never actually used the oyster sauce and the other two I actually had to go to the local smelly Chinese grocery store to find.

I made the marinade and set the meat in it.

I then proceeded to screw up. I steamed the broccoli entirely too long.

I pan fried the meat - as per the directions, and then added the sauce.

Then I added the over cooked broccoli to the meat and it let out a bunch of water which made the whole dish entirely too watery and there was no thickening it up and every time I stuck my spoon in it the broccoli disintegrated some more and the was like broccoli mush and beef by the time I was done.

That being said - the flavor was right (although I should have added more pepper and surprisingly a little more salt) so if I make it again, I just have to not overcook the broccoli.

On Beyond Bovine #18 - Cauliflower

I'm just going to put this out there.

I hate cauliflower. I do not like it. Sam I am.

I do not like it raw, I do not like it cooked, I do not like it when someone dresses it up and pretends it's the same as mashed potatoes, because it is NOT. Don't even pretend it is.

So when I saw this recipe for vegetable cookies that contained other elements I did like, I thought, well maybe it has a mellow enough flavor that this might just be the only way I will eat it.

So I made vegetable cookies. And if you've ever mentioned carrot cake in my presence you will know that I am anti-vegetablizing sweets. Actually I can handle carrot cake, but those people who put spinach in brownies as if a teaspoon of spinach in a brownie they give their kid somehow means it's a vegetable make me crazy - don't ruin sweets so you can feel better about giving him a cookie. Luckily for me these are like zucchini cakes, except not zucchini and not fried. So not like them at all.

Here we go:

I used 1/2 a head of cauliflower, 3 green onions, 2 carrots, and the equivalent of 1 regular sized clove of garlic. When Kay made hers she said they were bland, so I added the garlic, because I'm a garlicoholic. I can't help myself. I often want to add just one extra clove, just in case. I resisted and only used one clove, well 2, but they were small.

I put everything in the food processor until it was finely minced, not like mush, but well minced. My food processor is tiny, so I had to do it in shifts, but it was fine. Then everything went in a skillet with a couple tbsp olive oil.

I sauteed them for a while, until they were pretty tender. If I had to guess I'd say a little over 5 minutes. Then I added 3/4 cup of flour, and stirred it around until it pretty much disappeared.


Then I added salt (not as much as is pictured here, I threw about half of that in the sink, so maybe like a tsp.)


And pepper. I did about 10 twists.



This is the point at which you want to taste it, because you do not want them under seasoned. Once seasoned, I removed it from the heat and added the cheese. I didn't use Gouda, and I didn't measure. I used the cheese we had - mild and sharp cheddar - and I probably used between 1/2 and 3/4 cup.


I mixed it until well blended and then set that aside to cool slightly. Meanwhile, I beat 2 eggs and 3 tbsp milk together.




Once the veggies were cooled slightly, kind of went off recipe here, I wanted to temper my eggs. Kay didn't do this, but I'm thinking I'd have ended up with scrambled eggs if I did what she did. So I took a little of my veggie mixture and put it in my eggs and mixed it well. I then took a little more and did the same thing. Basically it prevents my eggs from scrambling from the heat of the veggies.

Then I mixed everything together and dropped in patties on a baking sheet. Very neatly in exact rows, as you can see. This is the whole batch, I got 12 cookies that were about 2 1/2 inches in diameter. They don't expand during baking, so you can get them fairly close together.

I put them in the oven at 400° for 20-25 minutes.

We used Ranch dressing for dipping.

I gave one to Landon and winced while he took a bite, thinking I was going to get yelled at about how "THIS IS NOT A COOKIE, MOMMY!!!" But surprisingly he loved them, he ate 2 1/2 of them. Which is 2 1/4 more than Clinton ate.

I like them, I was surprised by how garlicky they were considering how little garlic I used. I loved that I could not taste the cauliflower. They do not reheat very well in the microwave, and are definitely better warm.

I'm thinking that I might want to try some other combos. Sweet potato and carrots or maybe pumpkin with cinnamon? As a replacement for zucchini cakes? Adding meat? Kay suggested maybe adding bacon, Clinton thought sausage might be a good addition.

Also considered they might be a good appetizer in a smaller dollop.

Clinton didn't like them, he's not quite the garlicoholic that I am and so I understand that.

But if I have to eat cauliflower, I think this is my preferred method.

On Beyond Bovine #15, #16, and #17 – Tomatillos, Red Onion, and Lime

Oh, I bet you know where this is going, right? With those ingredients? I made tomatillo salsa.

So, to begin, despite what some people might think (like a cashier at a regular grocery store), tomatillos are not just green tomatoes. They’re completely different.

They have these husky outer leafy things that you start by peeling off. And the insides are different too.



As for the red onion, well, you've all met a red onion before.



I don't have the recipe with me today, but I'll try to wing it. On a baking sheet (we wrapped ours in aluminum foil for easy clean up) I placed 12 quartered tomatillos, 1 large roughly chopped red onion, and 3 jalapeños (the recipe said 1-2, and also didn't mention whether to seed them or not - so I seeded 2 and then decided to add 1 with seeds - probably could have done without one of the unseeded ones or half the seeds of the third or something). And 3 cloves of garlic. Drizzled with olive oil and salted.

(Picture is pre-jalapeños and also I forgot the garlic and had to roast it separately while I waited for the main stuff to cool.)

I put it in the the oven at some temperature for some amount of time...I know I'm totally giving you a great recipe here. And it looked like this:


We scooped and poured everything into the blender.



At this point we added some heavy cream, some honey, some salt as needed for taste.

And squeezed in the juice of 1 lime.

I poured half into a container, and then we added 1 cup of sour cream to the rest - giving 2 very good but slightly different sauces.



Clinton and I both agreed that the jalapeño choices we made were not great - the one without the sour cream is much hotter than your average green sauce. But they're both very good.

Bonus, I used the hotter not sour cream sauce to make guacamole and it was awesome (mashed avocado + salsa of your choice = quick guacamole).

On Beyond Bovine #13 - Fresh Coconut

Guess how you don't open a fresh coconut?

You do NOT open a coconut by whacking it with the blade of your favorite chef's knife. Just because they do it in the movies like that, doesn't mean you are capable. Or maybe it's because your machete isn't readily available. Maybe you left it in the back 40 after, uh, clearing some brush? I dunno, just don't do it, because then you'll be able to see the ding in the blade of your knife and you will want to leave a dinged blade shaped impression on the person who said to do it and that your knife would be fine. Not that anyone I know is in that exact predicament. Ahem.

So, on to the how to. You're going to need a hammer, a towel, a nail or awl, and a cup.
See the 3 little dots? They are in bowling pin hole formation.

Drive your nail or awl through each of the three dots to make holes. The website may claim that's enough, I have to wonder how freaking big their nails were, maybe they used railroad ties. We also had to poke a hole on the other side to let air out.

Drain the water from the coconut completely into the cup.

This is the part where the person who read the website should fill you in on stuff like "they said you might want to be on the floor or outside, because you have to hit it really hard." Before they try to dismantle your countertop. Wrap the coconut in the towel and take the towel outside. Bang it with a hammer.
The inner white meat and the brown thin skin that comes with it is entirely edible. Although, when grating, you may want to take the brown stuff off, because it will look funky.

Clinton: [Takes a small piece and pops it in his mouth, chews for a moment] It’s like a tasteless carrot.

Me: I'm pretty sure that's why they sell sweetened coconut in the store.

Clinton: [ Now chewing for 15 seconds] Ok, now it's getting papery; it doesn't take long to start tasting like dried crap.

Me: It didn't have much flavor, the juice seemed to have the most flavor. Maybe if we dipped it in sugar? Like sweetened coconut might be. I don't have confectioners' but I think we could try regular sugar.

Clinton: [dunks a chunk of coconut in a bowl of sugar, and places it in his mouth] [GAG, HACK, WHEEZE] That was worse! Too sweet.

Me: [Tried the same thing] Ehh, not that bad.

I continued cleaning up the coconut pieces and sent Clinton to figure out how to make sweetened grated coconut from the internet. He came back with a recipe that was basically, add some sugar to the liquid and once you grate it, pour it over the grated coconut, then allow to dry.

He added the sugar and asked me if it was enough. I tasted it, I don't know.

Landon showed up about this time to find out what we were doing.

He tasted the sweetened coconut juice. "Mmmmm, dat's good."

We grated the coconut.

And spread it, poured the sweetened juice over it and let him taste it. "Uhhh, me no like it."

I don't think we added quite enough sugar, I tasted the final product and it didn't have the sweetness that I normally get from the packaged coconut. I gathered it up after a while and froze it. I don't use a lot of coconut, but we'll see.

On Beyond Bovine #11 and #12 - Jalapeño and Green Beans

This weekend was...something...what was is...people were all worked up and wearing reds and pinks and...oh, that holiday we ignore. Valentine's Day.

Look - I've stated my case about V-Day before. You should show love for your significant other more often than once a year on a heavily commercialized day. And as a result, we planned a lovely dinner in for Saturday night, because holy God, you cannot get into a restaurant around here on V-day normally, much less on a V-day that lands on a weekend.

So Saturday morning we went to one of the farmers markets in Houston and found that, hey, this one actually kind of meets my needs. Except for the crippled lady who put her crutch on the INSIDE of Clint's stance, while he held Landon and therefore was not looking at his feet, took a step and nearly knocked her over. Uh - here's a lesson, don't put your crutch in the middle of someone else's feet. Whatever, I got some strawberries, and covered them in chocolate myself. There were a lot of greens, and I think next time, I may get some other stuff. It was kind of weird with the loud music and stuff, but probably worth at least another trip out there, hopefully not to run into crazy people trying to get tripped.

On to the trials:

These two are similar, because they fall squarely in line with everything I love about a low-carb lifestyle. They are wrapped in bacon.

# 11 - The jalapeño, Shrimp Brochette.

First you take your jalapeño, what sucks about picking jalapeños is that the heat is not something you can tell from the outside of the pepper. Supposedly the smaller or darker the pepper, the hotter, but actually, it has more to do with how much water it got while growing. SO just pick one that's nice and firm, not too much scarring. I generally go for a medium sized one.


You cut it open, remove the seeds. The white membrane stuff is where the heat is, so if you're particularly sensitive to that, you'll want to cut that out too, but the bonus to how I assemble these, is that if you like the flavor, but don't want it too strong or have an aversion to the crunch of the pepper itself, you can pull the pepper out prior to eating.


Cut it into strips. I generally get 4 to 5 strips out of each half.


Then you cut your cheese into small strips. Here I used a sharp white cheddar. I have also used cream cheese. They each have their pros and cons. Cream cheese is easier to work with, because it sticks together - where the cheddar falls apart, but the cheddar has a nice zing in the flavor.



Next, you cut your bacon into 3rds. Because I used thick bacon, I pre-cooked it a little - if I use normal bacon I just cut it raw. Also, this is the first time I used peppered bacon. And I just have to say. YES. DO THAT.

So then you take a cleaned, deveined shrimp, cut all the way down the back, as if you were going to butterfly them, but not all the way through the shrimp. Lay a pepper strip in the crack, and then a piece of cheese. Wrap in bacon and secure with a toothpick. If I was smart I'd have pre-soaked the toothpicks, because they do burn on the grill. If you use peppered bacon, pepper will get everywhere.

I dab each shrimp with a little BBQ sauce.

We had also made steaks that night, so the grill was already fired up. We put them on the pit, until the bacon is done and the shrimp is opaque. It shouldn't take long (a few minutes), and you don't want to overcook the shrimp.

If you don't like the pepper, when you take the toothpick out, you can grab the pepper by the end and just pull it out. It leaves a little flavor behind.

#12 - Green Beans - Bacon wrapped

I like fresh green beans in applications like this. I like canned green beans as a side, because I can never seem to get enough salt on them otherwise.

Green beans are not in season right now. They were kind of expensive. but worth it.

So the first thing you do, is talk to someone who knows something about green beans and ask them which end you're supposed to snap off and which end you're supposed to be allowed to leave intact. I didn't. So I cut both ends off, but I'm a rebel.

Next thing you need to do is bring a pot of water to a rolling boil. Throw the green beans in for a minute. Not long. Just blanch them. Then into a bowl of ice water to stop the cooking process. Or, if you're pressed for time, you can put them in the microwave in water for 1 minute. Still need to throw them in the ice water though.

Take 4 to 5 green beans and wrap them together in bacon, secure with a toothpick. Dab the tops with BBQ sauce (again with the soaking of the toothpicks in water.)

I have done these on the grill before, but last time they didn't turn out so well, so I put them in a 350° oven for 30-40 minutes.

YUM!!

Clinton removed the peppers before eating the shrimp. And has tried the green beans before and didn't like them. But they are the best green beans in all the land. Landon likes the green beans, but only as an hors d'oeuvre, so he can hold a toothpick, he does not like them on his plate. And we didn't give him a shrimp, because he's not 3 yet.

On Beyond Bovine Trial #10 - Poblano Pepper

Long time no see.

I've been spending our time apart hacking up a lung every time I lay down. No nasal congestion, not many problems while upright, but lay down and let the hacking begin! So I went to the Dr. yesterday and got what I hope will be the cure.

I also spent a lot of time this weekend cooking new things, and I've got to tell you, of all the things I made, only one fits in the On Beyond Bovine trial. Which sucks, but I thought you should at least know that I'm not just trying vegetable recipes, I'm also trying new recipes all around.

On Thursday I made steak bites a la the Pioneer Woman. Finally, a good use for the large number of sirloins in our freezer. Those sirloins have been kind of tricky, because they're the full sirloin, not just the top sirloin or whatever, so within the one cut, they have so many different textures, it's been hard to find a way to cook them without over cooking them. I had actually resorted to using them to make pot roasts, but this recipe seems to be the answer to that.

On Saturday I made cream of poblano soup. This is a recipe I got from my friend Jennifer. Although, I didn't bring it in, so the one I'm posting here is actually off the web, but it's very close. Anyway, this one knocks poblano peppers off my list.

On Sunday I made biscuits and gravy also a la Pioneer Woman using a different approach than I usually do. It was good, but the gravy was a lot browner than I normally make. So weird looking, but tasty.

And on Sunday night I made Pastor Ryan's spicy orange garlic shrimp - which was on the Pioneer Woman Cooks website. It was tolerable, Clint liked it more than I did, It wasn't bad, but it didn't have the WHA-POW that I had hoped for. I don't know if it was because by that time I was super tired and not very hungry, but Clint and I have some tweaks we're going to do to it next time to see if we can make it better.

All in all, between this weekend and all the other recipes I've made of hers that he has loved, Clint should probably just go hang out at the gate of the Pioneer Woman's ranch and see if she'll feed him. I'm pretty sure that when her cookbook comes out, he'll be one of the first ones to buy it.

On to the Trial.

I so suck at taking pictures of this stuff. But I made cream of poblano soup this weekend.

I forgot to take a picture of the pepper before I cut it. But it looks like a pointy bell pepper. Or a giant jalapeño. Or some thing between the two.

I only use half the pepper in the soup, if I liked raw pepper, I could have garnished the soup with it, but I didn't. And I prefer tortilla chips, cheese and avocado for garnish.

You use the food processor to grind up some corn tortillas and flour to make the base for your roux. And since it was already dirty, I also used the food processor to blend the onions, poblano pepper and garlic, because I don't like chunks of pepper in my soup.

I had some help on this step.

Oh, and I didn't have any regular chili powder, so I used chipotle chili powder, and it actually tasted better than when I made it with regular chili powder.

The final product looked a little something like this, except mine had a LOT more chicken in it, I used closer to 2 cups (although I didn't measure it), when my recipe called for like 1/2 cup. But I like my soups to be hearty.
Clinton does like the cream of poblano soup. And I have made it before, so his reaction isn't that entertaining. Although something weird happened this time, it was a lot thicker and there seemed to be less of it. Last time I made it we ate, we had left overs, and I took some to my grandmother. This time, I was scraping the bottom of the pot, just to feed 3 adults and a tiny person. Maybe I used more chicken stock last time, but I swear I thought I was following the recipe. Who knows.

CREAM OF POBLANO SOUP

3 ea Corn tortillas (6-inch)
2 tbsp Flour
1/2 tsp Chili powder [I used chipotle chili powder.]
1 tsp Cumin
1/2 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp Black pepper
2 tbsp Canola oil
1/2 cup Onion, finely diced
1/2 cup Poblano peppers, fine dice
1/2 tsp Garlic, minced
2 tbsp Butter
2 cup Chicken stock
1/2 cup Half-and-half
1/8 cup Roasted & chopped chicken [I used more like 2 cups of chicken, and I shredded it.]
1/2 cup Monterrey Jack cheese, shredded [We probably use a lot more cheese than this.]

Cut the corn tortillas into ninths, place in a food processor and chop until fine. Add flour, chili powder, cumin, salt and pepper. Blend until the tortillas become the consistency of cornmeal.

Place the canola oil in a stockpot on medium-high heat. Add onions, peppers and garlic. [I blend these so they aren't chunky.] Saute until onions are clear.

Add butter and let melt.

Add tortilla-flour mixture to the pan and mix to form a roux, stirring with a wire whisk. Do not let it burn.

While stirring, slowly add the chicken stock. Make sure to scrape the sides and bottom.

Add the half-and-half. Bring to a slow simmer and cook for 7 to 10 minutes. Do not let soup come to a hard boil.

Turn off heat and let cool. Add the roasted chopped chicken meat to the stockpot before serving. [My chicken was cold, so I left it on the heat until I added the chicken and let it warm through.]

Top each serving with shredded Monterrey Jack cheese, diced poblano pepper and crisply fried tortilla strips. [ You can fry the rest of the corn tortillas, or you can be like me and just buy tortilla chips and I also cut up an avocado.]