Incredible Pizza Company

On Saturday we ventured into the world of games + pizza. My child is completely unaware that a certain rat named Chuck exists outside of the TV - I believe he thinks it's a TV show that he just keeps missing and is occasionally seeing commercials for.

Anyway - we have an Incredible Pizza Company and I had heard it was really cool, so I got my friend and her two kids to come up and we went to play.

The pizza is ok. It's not great, it's not terrible. The salad bar is decent, and the dessert bar is good.

My child will probably never aspire to the likes of Tiger Woods...which now I think is probably just fine.


Also, probably not going to be a future star of "Dancing with the Stars."

And basket ball? Well, of those 10 points you see there? He threw exactly...none of them.

But, and of course I don't have a picture of it here, he is an awesome shot, so beware any dinosaurs trying to attack us - he's totally got your number.

Mardi Gras - Doggie Style

On Sunday we went down to Galveston with my sister and Zoey and Dylan to watch the parade. The Humane society puts on a pet parade every year and for $20 you can walk your dog in the parade and the proceeds go to the SPCA. We were observers, not participants.


So we parked at 41st street and walked and posed and danced down the seawall to about 31st, then we started heading back while we waited for the parade to begin. It started a good 30-45 minutes late or so.


They were mostly patient, but also kind of tired by the time the parade finally started and any time there was a lag in pets Landon asked if it was over yet.


But he did get some beads and didn't even have to lift his shirt.

The most disappointing piñata ever

Landon made a piñata at school last week. They basically painted a brown paper bag and filled it with...a big wad of colored butcher paper. The tie broke before he even poked a hole in the bag after wacking it a million times with the plastic golf club. And when I picked it up after that I "accidentally" poked a big hole in the side - at which point we abandoned all piñata rules and regulations and I had him stick the golf club in the hole and just pull until he ripped it some more. And even then I had to keep "accidentally" ripping it more to get the giant wad of paper to fall out.

Things and Stuff

Ok, so I got buried under a pile of work this week and last week.

Plus they're doing this reorganization thing where my immediate boss will now be a department manager and he seems to think I want to be in his position, even though I've made it perfectly clear that I want to move to another department by July. Oy - and enough with the procedures already - I just want to get my work done and I don't need a grading system to see if I'm doing it or not. GAH!!!

Anyway - I just want you to know if you noticed the extreme lack of posts over here or the fact that I haven't commented on your blog as of late, I am just exhausted and I don't have time to do much of anything besides work and come home and eat and spend a little time with my kid before I fall unconscious each night.

Also I haven't managed to take very many pictures either because I'm just that tired.

That being said - I have some things to talk about.

If your comment thingie looks similar to this:

I can't comment on your blog from work. But I am still reading it, I swear. And there are several of you who have this format.

Also - I'm not on facebook - which I know makes me an outcast, but since I can't get to it from work either it's not like I'd be on there very much.

Oh and I do have plans this weekend where plans equals picture opportunities, so I am trying to get my act together.

Bald Birds

On the way to dinner last night we saw a HUGE cloud of birds. Like a swarm. Like a plague sized cloud of birds flying over the highway. And I thought it was awfully lucky that I didn't get hit with anything, um...juicy. Nevermind the fact that I am apparently marked as a great target for suicidal birds, I have vehicularly birdslaughtered more than my fair share.

The birds are not flying all in one direction, they seem to be on LSD or something and flying all crazy like and Landon said "When birds fly really really fast, all their feathers fall off and they're naked."

To which I said, "that seems kind of strange, do you lose your hair when you run really fast?"

And he said "Yes! When I run super duper fast!"

That kid is weird sometimes.

Monthly Newsletter #40

Dear Landon,

This month was the fastest month in the history of all time. Or at least of the recent past. I didn’t get a lot of pictures taken of you. Mostly because we just didn’t do that much. For one thing, it’s been cold. We had a hard freeze in Houston, it was below freezing for a whole 3 days. We stayed inside nearly the entire time and everyone’s sprinkler vacuum thingy popped off. Trust me when I say – this was kind of a boring month.

You got your second ever ear infection, and spent almost a whole week at home with Grandma. It probably wouldn’t have taken so long, but you didn’t tell us that your original virus was gone and that you were now working on the ear infection, so we thought we were still dealing with a virus for quite a while.

I think you also learned a new word this month. The word is spicy. You use it correctly, as in, “those sausage balls are kind of good, but they’re kind of spicy.” And you use it strangely, as in “my mouf hurts, it spicy.” I have no idea where you picked up that little quirk, but I’m going with it.

I think you also have developed a new phrase as well – “kind of.” So when something exciting is going to happen and I say “How cool is that?” You think about it for a few seconds and say “Um,…it’s kind of cool.”

I decided right before Christmas that we’d start going to church on Sunday mornings. More specifically, Sunday school. I’ve never been a huge fan of the worship services themselves, I feel like I get more out of a small group discussion than all the other stuff anyway. The room you are in is more like a nursery than a class, but those ladies love you! They already know you by name and they are so impressed with how smart you are. I’m a little confused as to how to respond to that, because I’m not sure I have all that much to do with how smart you are. You’re just a super little sponge and remember everything. It was the decision to go to church that led to your discovery of sausage balls. You love sausage balls. I can get you to do almost anything for a sausage ball. I had made them for a church party, but because you were feverish that day we didn’t get to go. I dropped off the stuff I had agreed to bring and then gave you a sampling of the leftover sausage balls. And you. Fell. In. Love.

Speaking of being smart and remembering things. A few weeks ago you did a study at school about the food pyramid. And now every time you see me using butter on anything you yell “BUTTER IS BAD FOR YOU!” Or more recently “Butter is bad for your body!” I offer you candy or cookies and you say the same thing. I tried to explain the theory of everything in moderation. But I don’t think you’re quite getting it.

I don't have much to ask you for this month. Just keep being sweet and cute and lovable.

Love,

Mama

Creating my own nerdy child.

I have had both of these conversations in the past couple weeks.

Landon: Why it so hard to start bike moving?

Me: Well, the coefficient of static friction is higher than the coefficient of rolling friction.

Landon: Oh.

**************

Landon: Why when you turn that corner, I fall over.

Me: Well, some people would tell you it's centrifugal force, but they'd be wrong, because it's technically inertia.

Landon: Inertia?

Me: Well, it's a law of phyics that things in motion tend to stay in motion and things at rest tend to stay at rest unless acted on by an outside force.

Landon: But I not outside.

***************

Hat tip to Mr. Richardson who taught me both of the above concepts in high school. And he probably thought I wasn't paying attention.

Let's pretend this week never happened, okay?

Landon's teacher has a bulletin board where they put family portaits from the kids so that they "feel like they're at home." I don't really see how a picture is going to make it feel like home. But whatever. So they asked for a family portrait, and I have exactly one recent picture of Clinton and Landon and me all together. And this is it:


I can get over the fact that Clinton isn't smiling, he's only smiling in pictures if you accidentally take one when he's not aware it's going to happen. But can someone for the love of God teach me how to pose for a picture without bringing my chin back into my neck causing the triple chin?

On Monday we were down to no cars. My car needed brakes fairly badly, because that's just perfect timing and everything, and also a rear brake light and an oil change and a state inspection. But at least I got that one back Monday evening. Today we should be back up to two - the truck is done and Clinton is picking it up this morning. And the stolen car is still unresolved.

This week I:

• Watched a lady motion for another car to merge into her lane to get around a stalled vehicle. And then she proceeded to ram them as they tried to come into her lane. And then they both drove off - no exchange of information or anything.
• Saw a "Buy Local" bumper sticker - on a Honda.
• Cleaned cat puke off my windshield for the very first time in all my driving years. And had to use baby wipes to do it, because the hose is still disconnected and the faucet is still wrapped from the freeze, and also note: I'm kind of lazy.
• Got the sprinkler thingy fixed that broke from the freeze.
• Came home to find a neighbor dog (not the neighbor from hell, but the neighbor behind us) in my back yard and a crater sized hole under the fence between our yards. But the neighbor wasn't home the two times I tried to alert them to the issue. And also the dog went back - at least I assume so because she's not in my yard anymore.

Football

Everyone should have a cousin who is about 10 years older, who is willing to play football with you.

Even better, should he pretend to actually have been tackled by you!

Because, why be down by one vehicle when you could be down by two?

Everyone is fine. And the truck is already in the shop and they're even going to start working on it today. We'll probably have it back before the stolen car thing is settled, then I just have to pray they won't drop us.

I'm wishing I could go back in time and go ahead and reinstate the rental policy on the insurance, instead of thinking that I could wait until the stolen car thing was settled, but hindsight is 20/20.

Kind of like New York, but not and by the way only the parents really seemed to care.

The Children's Museum hosted a New Year's Party complete with a ball drop at noon on New Year's Eve.

Landon and I went along with the rest of the population of Houston.

We did the normal Children's Museum things,

but we also headed outside right before noon for the ball drop, as I said, with the rest of the population of Houston.

The parents cheered and counted down as the ball dropped. And then they did it again when these signs were on a few second delay.

And my kid? Was too busy to be bothered even looking in the direction of balls dropping or counting down or anything. Because he had found a boat to carry around and an aimable stream of water.

Weekend O Fire

This child ruined every plan I had this weekend.

The puking, thank God, only lasted an hour or so, but the 102-103° fever lasted 48+ hours. Thereby canceling all weekend plans.

I watched roughly 36 hours of The Incredibles, Caillou, The Sandlot, Clifford, Dinosaur Train, Super Why, and Go, Diego, Go! And changed my sheets no less than 4 times.

Oh and the bonus of the weekend was the vacuum overflow valve thingie on the sprinkler system that popped off due to the freeze and flooded my yard and driveway before a neighbor knocked on my door to let me know about it.

This is one of those Mondays when I'm glad to be back at my desk.

Oh, you noticed that part?

So these are things I mentioned in passing and never came back to, so am providing an update.

• Ok, so the car thing. I didn't talk about because, well - it's boring really. We have insurance. The detective said his car was the "flavor of the month." Which means that within a few hours it was probably chopped into tiny pieces and sold. He also said if that's not why it was taken, that a lot of cars stolen during the holidays turn up after the first of the year when people begin noticing strange cars that don't belong in their parking lots that they overlooked previously thinking they might belong to some visitors or something. The insurance people say it will take about 3 weeks to do all the investigations and close the case, we have about 1 week of that to go. At this point, I don't think we even want to car back. If we got it back and it was repairable, I think it would probably be up for sale nearly immediately.

• Landon's bloodwork came back, if he has any allergies, they are seasonal, not regular allergies like mine. Which is good to know.

• The bank fixed the website so I was able to pay my mortgage.

• My bloodwork came back and I am deficient in vitamin B12, and also have "atrocious" cholesterol (which I kind of already knew.)

• My boss has freaked out now twice about people finding things in my officemate's boxes [he's only in the office once a week], but he's the only one going through them and finding the things he's freaking out about (employment package and raise letter.) The boxes bother him so much he's unpacked two of them and I see him eyeballing mine. I told him I wasn't unpacking them because everytime I get totally unpacked I end up having to move again. Also, it's kind of a bonus now that I know it's bothering him.

Monthly Newsletter #39

Dear Landon,

This month for you was, of course, all about Christmas. This year you kind of “got” the whole Santa Claus bit, which was awesome. Also I found out that our mall Santa is equally as awesome as the guy at the North Pole – which as you understand it is the real Santa, but the other Santas we see before Christmas are just his helpers. When you threw a big fit after we stood in line for 45 minutes he told me to walk you around the mall, maybe get something to eat and come back, but to come to the exit and they would let me in so I wouldn’t have to wait in line again. And it worked and we got a decent Santa picture - which is more than I can say about last year.

Also, it snowed, in Houston – which is like unheard of – except it did snow last year, but it didn’t stick so I don’t count it and I don’t think anyone else should either. So naturally I picked you up a little early from school so we could have a snow ball fight in the front yard. You did not want to even consider laying down in it for snow angel making – which is pretty smart really, it’s not like we own snow pants and when I did it I ended up having to like change clothes almost immediately and my snow angel was kind of pathetic since we only got like half an inch of snow. (Right now people who are from up north are laughing at the idea of crazy Houston people getting all excited about snow, but hey – they get all crazy about heat and we’re like – what? Over 100 degrees for 13 days – BRING IT!!)

This year your school decided that the Christmas program should take place in the middle of the day – even though they are a place that cares for children whose parents work and last year they did it in the evening which was better. I’m beginning to think people should just run their ideas by me before they’re allowed to make any decisions, it would make everyone’s life that much easier. Anyway, luckily I work for people who think family is important so I was able to attend. I even took a video. And you stood in the back behind some other kid with a tall nutcracker hat on. And I saw your glimmering little smile a whopping 2 seconds the entire time. Plus you guys danced to some kind of weird song I’d never heard of. “First Toy Maker to the King.” Weird. You were totally excited about it anyway and I guess next year I’ll have to teach you about the fact that we are short people (you and I) and we must push our way to the front when on stage in order to be seen.

This year, Christmas lights played a huge role for you. At Thanksgiving we went on our annual trip through the drive through light display with Grandma and Grandpa Wood, and each evening that we had a little spare time I took you to the street in the back of our neighborhood that teams up to do a group display. I also drove you down the street in Lake Jackson that does the same kind of thing. And your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Hector began a new tradition this year, a Christmas light seeing hay ride. It was so much fun. It was a little chilly, but the lights were great and you had a lot of fun and we sang Christmas carols and everything.

One night while riding through the street in our neighborhood with all the lights you said “I see ‘joy’!” And you did. The plywood cut out of the word “Joy” was lit up in the yard. I asked if you had read it, and you said “No, I just know it.” You are beginning to memorize books and then “read” them to “the kids” (because you are the teacher.) That’s how I started, I memorized “Whose Mouse Are You?” So I believe that you are on the verge of reading – not that I’m pushing you or anything, and not that I have to, you absolutely love books.

On a sad note, you are learning that the world is not perfect, and not everyone is nice. We discovered that your daddy’s car was stolen on Christmas Eve morning. When I told you that daddy’s car was gone, you asked “why?” And I told you that people took it who weren’t supposed to, but that it would be okay, everything was going to be fine. And you said “Angry people? Angry people took daddy’s car?” Yes, I suppose on some level those people must be angry.

Your imagination is so great. Lately you've been "teaching the kids" by reading books and talking to them about things. I actually get in trouble because I hear you talking and I think you're talking to me and you're not, you yell at me about how you're not talking to me, you're talking to "the kids!" Also a couple nights ago you came out of the shower with a baby girl. A teeny tiny baby girl, who you carry around in the palm of your hand and sometimes hand to me to hold and yell at me if you think I might have squished her. You tuck her in at night next to you, and she is "sooooo pretty" and you "just love her!" And poof, my heart melted.

Love,

Mama

Am not dead.

Monthly Newsletter will be up later today - maybe tomorrow, I tried to copy all the picture from the month to a CD to bring to work so I could work on it and then. Well - you know how I took 24 pictures over Thanksgiving? Well, I have like 900 for the month of December. Granted, not all of them relate to a monthly newsletter but they still have to be sorted through and whatnot.

So assuming the kid will cooperate this evening, I will either write the letter and do the accompanying pictures or at least get them copied onto a DVD that I can bring in and work on them tomorrow. (Probably the latter, so don't get your hopes up or anything.

And then we can talk about more fun things.

They moved my office over the holidays. And then I moved myself to the other desk in the office they put me in, because who wants to have people walk up behind them?

Am putting off unpacking, and the bank won't let me pay my mortgage - so my new year has started off just perfect.

Letter to Santa

Landon and I sat down on Saturday to write his letter to Santa.

Which actually turned out to be more of a book to Santa.

And I thought we'd share.

[DEAR SANTA] We used all caps, because when I wrote his guide with small letter he got mad and said we had to use big letters.

[TOY DINOSAUR] No salutations or anything, straight to the point with the list!

Picture of Toy dinosaur just in case Santa can't decode the above hieroglyphics

At this point he was no longer in the mood to write words, so he drew a bouncy ball - or more accurately, a bouncy ball path.

And that's it, no need for formalities of saying thank you or bye or anything, just end with the drawing.

Chocolate Face

Christmas Party Success

Balloon sword? Check.

Hand Painting of Ornament? Check.

Chocolate all over shirt? Check.

My company hosted a children's Christmas party on Sunday, so Landon and I went to see what kind of trouble we could cause. It was a lot of fun. They had a Santa, a magician, all kinds of yummy sweets, face/hand painting, and balloons. The magician wasn't all that magical, but he was pretty entertaining. And Santa's line was enormous, so we didn't talk to him, but just seeing him go by was enough for Landon anyway.

The most fun part? Was the duck on the terrace, and the circles on the carpet.

Making Up For It

In our house if you get your blood drawn, not only do you get a lollipop on the way out the door, you get to have ice cream when you get picked up that day and you get to choose where you want to have dinner. In whatever order you choose.

So when I picked him up after school - he totally remembered. He said he wanted ice cream and salad. I may have the only three year old on the planet who requests to go to "that salad place." Which worked out especially well for me, since I was able to get both in one place.

Early morning lessons, and maybe some from yesterday

Landon needed a blood draw for allergy testing. I've been putting it off for a month, but his doctor sent a letter that basically said "Hey, 'member when I said he needed this blood draw? I was totally serious, so do it!"

Anyway, I took off work a couple minutes early yesterday, thinking the lab was open until 6, and I picked Landon up and went over there at 5:25 only to find out that they close at 5. I guess I should have called. But they do open at 6:30, so I decided to take him over there this morning.

And based on what happened when he was 3 months old, I think I should have been prepared for the next problem. Um, the phlebotomists that are on the super early morning shift...are apparently not the best sticks - combined with the fact that Landon has deep veins with hiding super powers. Well...they stuck him once in each inner elbow (is there a word for that body part?) with the butterfly looking doo-hickeys with no luck. They asked me what I wanted to do. I asked Landon if we could try again and he said no, I said, if they don't try again we're going to have to come back, and he freaked out about not wanting to come back.

One lady, during the freak out went ahead and stuck him with a more regular looking syringe, no butterfly or long tube, just the little syringey thing and the test tube. They got the blood, then they taped him up.

To his credit, Landon did everything they asked him to do. Even as they were doing the third stick, and he was saying he didn't want to, he was pretty still. He didn't even cry until they told him they might stick him again.

So lesson - if we do this again, we need to come later in the day so we can get the best stick in the place, and also the lollipops I put in my purse were essential for recovery - also, maybe we should bring our own fun bandaids, it's like these people never see children or something.