I totally thought today was Wednesday

Which makes today extra awesome.

Finally figuring out pedaling

Because no holiday weekend is complete without an injury

I will save you some panic time, because the injured is not human. And if you know our canine history - I bet you can guess which dog is the one who is hurt.

We took the dogs to GUL and Kimmie's house on Sunday to play with their dogs - and all was well in whoville. The little dogs and the big dogs got along swimmingly. We couldn't have asked for a better time amongst them. And there were chases around the yard and one of those chases ended with a splash.

I wasn't watching and all I heard was a splash. And I looked around and did not see Scarlett anywhere. And then I saw Clinton looking over the edge of the bulkhead. And Scarlett is standing below on slippery slimy rocks. Shaking, scared as hell. After a minute or so it became pretty clear that she was not going to do anything about getting her own butt out of the lake. She had found a place to stand and that was it. She wasn't even willing to try to make her way down to the place where it would have been easier to get her out of the water.

I was the only one wearing shoes - although they were flip flops, they were better than nothing. So I jumped down and picked her 78 lb chubby butt up. I normally balk at picking up things like 40 lb bags of dog food, but was somehow able to stand on slippery rocks and lift her enough that Clinton and Lynn were able to pull her the rest of the way out.

She limped a little, but after a while seemed ok. So we thought she was fine. But by that evening she was slower than normal and the swelling had begun.

So as it turns out, the likely injury to a person or dog who falls 4 feet off a bulkhead on to slimy slippery rocks is a sprained ankle. Which I suspected. The vet also sustained a similar injury to his own ankle in a similar manner (although not this past weekend, and also probably not while chasing another dog around.) But her ankle was still so swollen still this morning, 48 hours post injury, that I thought it would behoove us to have it checked out and also to find out if they did indeed have something better than baby aspirin to give her. And they do, so he prescribed that and he gave us the admittedly tall orders of keeping her calm, for 2 weeks. So she'll be on a leash and house and/or crate bound for 2 weeks.

Pet insurance would have been a great idea for this dog, but a complete waste of money on the other one. And from what I hear, they have some pretty big preexisting condition clauses, and I'm almost positive that if we apply now for her, they'll be like "we're sorry your dog is entirely too injury-prone and stupid, we will not insure her."

That part aside, it was a good weekend, and Landon was happy 95% of the time.

He got to ride a jet ski, which he may or may not tell you is a boat (a red boat and a white boat and a black boat) and depending on which way the wind is blowing and how the stars are aligned with the planets, he may or may not have had fun while on said boat/jet ski. Not that I was allowed to go over 8-9 miles an hour.


Oh, and look, a new life jacket, because heaven forbid we remember the one hanging on our back porch, that we ALL looked at as we walked out of the house on Friday - to go on a trip - to a LAKE!!!

All in all it wasn't a bad weekend or anything, but part of me is glad to finally be sitting back at my desk right now.

Snot watch 2009 Round 846

Landon has yet another sinus infection - or rather maybe a continuation of that last one. The on-call Dr., since his normal Dr. was out today, said sinus infections are notoriously deep seated and sometimes it just takes a longer regimen of antibiotics to get it all. So when he stopped them at 10 days as per original orders and was fine - I thought we were good, but then 2 days later he developed a hacking rumbling cough again, and here we are 6 days after THAT and now we're back on antibiotics for 14 days - with orders to not allow him to share food or drinks with anyone...which will be hella hard seeing as we're at a family function this weekend and that just tends to happen. I need to get in touch with my inner helicopter momness - and that's going to be kind of hard, since I don't have a helicoptery bone in my body. Maybe I'll make him a "Don't feed the Landon" shirt.

The good news is that we discussed the fact that I think these are allergies turned sinus infections and she gave me some non-drowsy options for dealing with that if that is indeed the case. The bad news is that it's a guessing game, since they can't do the allergy testing skin prick test stuff until he's 5.

More good news, since the origination was allergies and his fever - if you can even call it that - never went above 99.9°, I was able to ship him off to school this morning after his first dose of meds and come into work.

Someone call an ambulance, my heart just melted.

Last night on arrival home, a black and white neighbor cat was in our driveway.

"A cat!"

"Yeah."

"A black cat."

"Yeah."

"A black cat and a white cat."

"Um..ok."

"A black cat and a white cat, right der."


Being that it was ONE cat, not two, you can see why I might have been a little confused this morning when he started talking about best friends.

"You best fends, mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"You best fends, mommy?"

"Who's best friends?"

"Mommy best fends, I best fends."

"We're best friends?"

"Yeah. Two best fends."

"You have 2 best friends? Who are your two best friends?"

"No, mommy, me, one, two."

"Ooooh, we're 2 best friends."

"Yeah."

Roller Coaster

I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions this morning and it's just exhausting.

It's work related, so I don't really want to get into it. But yes, I still have a job.

Plan B

I've been writing this post and erasing it for 10 minutes and I have far too much work to do to be doing that.

Find out about the Chicken Game here. And here. I found one of these chickens in my underwear drawer last week, and it totally made my day.

Redneck in the making

The best place to be is sitting out on your back porch.

Cause nothing's more fun than sitting on your back porch shooting at stuff.

Except maybe getting someone else to join you.

Numbers for last weekend

2 - Number of times I was rear-ended last weekend - thankfully with no damage to the vehicle either time.

2 - Number of bars I went to Saturday night.

12 - Number of bachelorette parties at the second bar.

29 - Number of bras I tried on before finding just 3 that didn't poke me in the armpit, create armpit boobs, or create room for someone else's boobs along with mine.

2,876 - lbs of rocks purchased to line flower beds and moved one by one from the truck to the driveway. You'd think that was an exaggeration, but the guy weighed them.

50 - length of flower bed in feet lined with rocks before it even looked like that pile had been touched.

1 - cubic yard of mulch shoveled and placed.

88 - temperature in degrees of the pool - without any heater action.

6 - hours spent in the pool over the weekend

10 - hours Landon slept after spending 4 hours in the pool on Sunday.

Conversations with a 2 year old

You may need to read Landon's parts outloud, since the spellings are phonetic.

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Landon: Hey wuh sat no-eese?

Clinton: A bird?

Me: A siren?

Clinton: A car?

Landon: No, a cock-a-doo chicken! COCK-A-DOO!!!!

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[We bought some pool noodles at HEB on Sunday morning and Landon was playing with one, he wasn't paying attention and kept whacking Clinton with it.]

Me: Hey, keep your noodle to yourself. It's a good rule now, and it will be a good rule later too.
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Things Landon has his own special names for:

Belts, the kind you wear on your waist: seatbelts

Skulls: head bones

Dough nut holes: dough nut balls

Sausage kolache: hot dog

Polka dots: poking dots

********************

[As we drove away from the dough nut place and I pulled out my sausage kolache, Landon saw what I was eating.]

Landon: I want it, dat hot dog. Peese, peese.

[I gave it to him because I thought that might happen. He started eating the kolache.]

Landon: Mmmmm, dat my fave-it, yum yum.

[Pretty much everything he's eating is his "fave-it."]

I can't move.

We spent a lot of time this weekend with rocks. Unloading them from the truck and then moving them to the back yard and lining the flower beds with them...I am beyond sore. And as such I cannot think. So here.

This guy helped smooth the mulch - although he made it through about 2 loads of mulch before he was too tired to help any more.

Because who doesn't want a rambly post every now and then

Landon's been sick this week [allergies turned sinus infection - as always]. Today is his first day back at school. And man was he pissed to be back in the routine after being out of it for like 5 days. Oh and now I have to sanitize my hands before going into my kid's classroom (not like they singled me out or anything, but they have a note to all parents that this is the new thing)...which 3 things 1) I don't touch anything but my kid and his paperwork, so I don't really see the point and 2) all this hyper vigilance is going to create a new superbug a la MRSA - just wait and see and 3) if I did have a the flu and I came to pick him up, my hands are the least of what anyone's worries should be - maybe they ought to supply us with those hazmat jumpsuit thingies - I want mine to have a helmet like an Astronaut.

The healthnuts are everywhere! I got chastised by a co-worker for drinking ice water all the time. Not the water part, but that he seems to think that warm or hot water is healthier for you. And I said, hey - it's not like I'm downing a 12 pack of coke every day - water is still good for you. So I looked it up and for some reason a lot of Asian people believe that hot water is better for you than cold water. I can't find any actual scientific stuff that says he's right - also can't find anything to say he's wrong, but do now realize it's a fairly cultural thing I'm dealing with, so I've decided to let it go. He also bothers me about the bacon I eat every morning, but I guess he doesn't exactly understand how sugar and starches affect my body and I don't really want to get into it with him, so I can't really fault him for that one.

Someone I can fault for something is my husband and his cousin. Remember that family cookbook I've been working on? Dude, it's taken like forever - I started it in January. but now I have a deadline, so come June 13th, I have to be done - I work better with deadlines, so that's a good thing. Also - the only 2 people who haven't done their homework for me? My husband and his cousin! You know, the two people who originally thought I should do this thing.

And you know who else is bothering me right now? Little kids. That sounds mean, but some times OPK (Other People's Kids) just irritate the ever loving crap out of me. Remember, when we went to the park and Landon was all - "EEEK other small people, I will just DIE if they talk to me!!" Well apparently, what goes around comes around, even in the toddler circuit, because he's totally trying hard to talk to kids on the playground now and about half the time the other kid completely ignores him. It's pretty frustrating really - we spent so much time trying to socialize him and get him to be willing to talk to other people and now they're ignoring him. Granted they're older kids, so they're probably just trying to get out of playing with a baby - but they could at least acknowledge his presence, I'm not asking them to baby-sit him.

Oh and they added these two giant rocks to the playground, one has a hole in the middle, which Landon like to sit in and pretend there's a TV to watch in there.

The end.

Wordless Wednesday

Monthly Newsletter #31

Dear Landon,

A couple days ago you turned 31 months old. You are very insistent that it does not by any means take away from your babyhood status.

“Landon, are you a big boy?”

“No, me a baby.”

“Are you sure? You’re not a big boy?”

“NO, me a baby!”

“Well, I think you might be a big boy.”

At this point you get supremely mad. “NO!!! ME A BABAY!!!”

Fine, you’re a baby.

So many new things have sprouted this month. One is the shoulder shrug. Sometimes you use it while narrating an inaudible story. Mumble mumble mumble *shoulder shrug and lifting palms* mumble mumble mumble *shoulder shrug.* You call your sandals “hot day shoes.” You call the alphabet song “ABCDs” and when you see letters on a sign or a shirt, you get excited saying “ABCDs! ABCDs!”

You like to sing, but you don’t always like when mommy sings. Which, ouch! I mean it’s not like I was hoping to be on American Idol or anything, but you don’t have to be so mean about it! You do watch American Idol – and you almost always agree with Simon. So more or less, you’re almost always right. When someone sings that you don’t like you shake your head and then you turn to better things to do, like poking the dog, or reading a book. When someone sings that you think is good, you bop your head to the beat. So maybe I’m blessed to have a small Simon in my house keeping me from humiliating myself…not that I was going to anyway.

On the way to school each morning we see school buses starting their rounds amongst the neighborhoods. You are super excited to see them and if we see enough of them in a row to warrant it, you will totally count them. Uh…that’s probably from my genes – as you will eventually end up counting everything from M&Ms to stairs. Just something to pass the time.

Also, it appears you inherited something else from my genes. It seems you are allergic to your environment. In fact, you may have noticed this newsletter is slightly late, and that’s due in part to the fact that on the morning it should have been posted, I was busy trying to keep you from dying. Oh, that’s a little extreme. But you did wake up at 4 am with 102° fever, and I took you in to the doctor because you’ve have what I would call and allergy cough for a few weeks. He said you had a sinus infection and we’re starting the antibiotics and you will recover. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. See, some kids get ear infections all the time, but you like to hoard your allergy issues until they become infections.

As a special bonus this has fallen at a time when the whole nation is freaked out about a little thing called swine flu. You see, it’s a pandemic, just because people in two or more countries have it. And I think the media decided it was about time they got to use their stock photos of pigs and ran with it, because the number of cases of swine flu, even globally doesn’t even come close to the number of cases of regular flu – and yet that’s not a pandemic, and oh yeah this: it’s completely treatable if caught early on and you just treat it like the regular flu. Anyway, even your doctor looked perturbed about it, but said they (whoever “they” is) said he had to test everyone with a fever for the flu. Your test came back “very” negative, but don’t think I haven’t thought about teaching you to say “oink-choo” upon returning to school. Except, since they made me sanitize my hands before picking you up last week, I decided to not freak them out any more than they already are. Even if it would have been funny.

Oh and on the extra awesome front this month. You pooped in the potty a lot this month. And like 3 days in a row. And then on the 4th day you kept telling me you had to, and I scooped you up and ran towards the bathroom (we’re going to have to work on the amount of notice you give people) and about half way there you’d start laughing and say “I not pooping!” [Oh, I see practical jokes in your future, you are starting so young.] So on the 4th day, I did that 3 times before giving you a lecture about how at some point I wouldn’t believe you and then you wouldn’t get the lollipop. We had one more false alarm, and then the 5th time, you said you were pooping and asked if you were sure too many times, and you were, but I didn’t believe you thus ending your streak.

This past weekend you discovered yoga on the Wii. And then boxing. And I have never had such a tough trainer in all my life. Between the demands for riding the bike to the park and then not actually wanting to play at the park, but get back on the bike and go home, and then do yoga, and then boxing, and then yoga again. I know you’re not sore, you’re not actually doing it, you’re just pretending to do it while I do it. Except the boxing, you’re really very good at the boxing. Anyway, since we only have the one balance board for the Wii, I’ve decided to get you your own, albeit broken, balance board, so you can do the yoga along side me and not have to use your step stool which is a tad too tall for some of these exercises anyway.

No requests this month, although it would be nice if you felt better, I think you’re already well on your way on that front.

Love,
Mama

This should be a monthly newsletter

but it's not.

I'll do what I can to get one out tomorrow.

We don't have the swine flu or anything.

Things

(1) I apparently don't know the definition of pandemic. It sounds so...dire. And yet:

Cases of Swine Flu in US: roughly 100

US Population: 304,059,724


(2) Someone here is fighting with me about the way toilet paper should hang. I put it on properly and the next time I go in, someone has turned it around. It should hang over, so that if your hand is dirty, you don't touch anything but the paper to get it. If it hangs to the back you run the risk of touching the wall behind it and then the next person does and BAM swine flu.



(3) Landon pooped in the potty 2 days in a row. He's not very good at seeing it coming, because you only get about a 10 second warning, but if you can get him to the potty in time. Awesomeness and lollipops are sure to follow. When asked if he would consider peeing in the potty for say - M&M's. He expressed a liking for M&Ms but then declined the offer, because apparently they are not a good enough motivator to not walk around in your own pee all day.



(4) Landon also put on his own pajama bottoms on last night - which means, I am a shirt, socks and shoes away from not having to dress an extra person in the morning.



(5) I have discovered the best parenting hack of all time. We have a glass shower door, and in order to lure him into the shower, I squirt a little shaving cream on the door for drawing. By the time I have him washed down, he's ready to spray down the door with water to clean it off and get out. Total awesomeness - for now, while it still works, because we all know these things won't last forever.



(6)

A wedding through the eyes of a 2 year old.

Landon here. Mom gave me her camera a few times during Shane's wedding, so I wanted to share some of my pictures. And I'll include some of the ones she took, since mine are limited.

Mom was there. She was drinking her first and only Mojito. I don't think she liked it, because it took her forever to drink it.

And Dad was there too.

Pictures were taking forever so, I set out to find the perfect stick gun. Dad made me put it down, even though he knew I loved it and wanted to run away with it, he said that someone might get hurt, and I really don't want to hurt anyone so, I put it down. That's not to say I didn't go and visit it and mess with it when they weren't looking, but when they looked, I dropped it. Those two have no clue what they're doing.

The ceremony was cool I guess - Daddy was talking, but I couldn't really see him. I was telling Mommy about it and she just kept shooshing me, Aunt Kimber gave me a peppermint, I also made her day by calling her "Kimmie", so that was awesome. Oh and they set up all these chairs for me to run around in, most awesomest obstacle course, EVAH. I mean, I guess that's what they were for, cause no one stopped me.

After the ceremony we went and ate. I conned Grandpa into getting a bunch of stuff to eat that I didn't want. I didn't tell him I had just eaten a cheeseburger Happy Meal on the way there.

Then, I felt the need for a cape. Because capes are awesome. Everyone should have a cape. My cape gives me the ability to fly. You just can't really beat that. Grandma took me out to her car to get a safety pin to make sure my cape stayed on and she gave me this awesome flashlight too. Mom's picture isn't very good here, but she said it's an LED light and the plastic part glows red. You can put it over your eye and push the button and everything looks red. I did that a lot.

Mom said something about cake after dinner and I was super excited, so I jumped off her lap and ran, nay, flew (in my cape) to the parlor. This is the corner of the cake table and the foot of the photographer.

I also got a picture of the cake and if you squint real hard you might be able to see Elizabeth's arm.

I don't know why Mom rushed me in there so fast, I mean, I've seen people cut cakes before. GAH!

They totally surprised me with the ice cream bar though, so Mom and I split each kind of cake and some chocolate ice cream. She seemed kind of antsy about how I was eating my ice cream, and when I was done she made me walk out to the car with her and she changed my clothes again. That's the 3rd time in 2 days that she's stripped me down in the back of Daddy's car - for as far as I can tell - no apparent reason. Not happy about that!

I came back in the party wearing a totally different outfit, it was sooo embarassing, but no one said anything to me. The DJ gave me this awesome glowing bracelet, it's not glowing today or anything, but it did glow all night. ALso, it makes a circle, but you can un-do it and re-do it and un-do it and re-do it and un-do...well, you get the picture. Also, I'm not so good at the re-doing, so I had to keep getting help with that part.

I made friends with this other dude and we ran in circles for a good hour at least, before Mom finally gave me some bubbles. I spent forever blowing bubbles with just Mommy, and then Lane came out and blew bubbles with me too.

When Uncle Shane and Elizabeth drove off, Mommy took me back to the car and she stripped me down again! Totally naked! And put on my pajamas in public! We got in the car and left. I tried really hard to stay awake and keep her company on the way home, but I'm pretty sure I was out within a few minutes. Weddings are exhausting - who knew there was so much to be done?

On Beyond Bovine #18 - Cauliflower

I'm just going to put this out there.

I hate cauliflower. I do not like it. Sam I am.

I do not like it raw, I do not like it cooked, I do not like it when someone dresses it up and pretends it's the same as mashed potatoes, because it is NOT. Don't even pretend it is.

So when I saw this recipe for vegetable cookies that contained other elements I did like, I thought, well maybe it has a mellow enough flavor that this might just be the only way I will eat it.

So I made vegetable cookies. And if you've ever mentioned carrot cake in my presence you will know that I am anti-vegetablizing sweets. Actually I can handle carrot cake, but those people who put spinach in brownies as if a teaspoon of spinach in a brownie they give their kid somehow means it's a vegetable make me crazy - don't ruin sweets so you can feel better about giving him a cookie. Luckily for me these are like zucchini cakes, except not zucchini and not fried. So not like them at all.

Here we go:

I used 1/2 a head of cauliflower, 3 green onions, 2 carrots, and the equivalent of 1 regular sized clove of garlic. When Kay made hers she said they were bland, so I added the garlic, because I'm a garlicoholic. I can't help myself. I often want to add just one extra clove, just in case. I resisted and only used one clove, well 2, but they were small.

I put everything in the food processor until it was finely minced, not like mush, but well minced. My food processor is tiny, so I had to do it in shifts, but it was fine. Then everything went in a skillet with a couple tbsp olive oil.

I sauteed them for a while, until they were pretty tender. If I had to guess I'd say a little over 5 minutes. Then I added 3/4 cup of flour, and stirred it around until it pretty much disappeared.


Then I added salt (not as much as is pictured here, I threw about half of that in the sink, so maybe like a tsp.)


And pepper. I did about 10 twists.



This is the point at which you want to taste it, because you do not want them under seasoned. Once seasoned, I removed it from the heat and added the cheese. I didn't use Gouda, and I didn't measure. I used the cheese we had - mild and sharp cheddar - and I probably used between 1/2 and 3/4 cup.


I mixed it until well blended and then set that aside to cool slightly. Meanwhile, I beat 2 eggs and 3 tbsp milk together.




Once the veggies were cooled slightly, kind of went off recipe here, I wanted to temper my eggs. Kay didn't do this, but I'm thinking I'd have ended up with scrambled eggs if I did what she did. So I took a little of my veggie mixture and put it in my eggs and mixed it well. I then took a little more and did the same thing. Basically it prevents my eggs from scrambling from the heat of the veggies.

Then I mixed everything together and dropped in patties on a baking sheet. Very neatly in exact rows, as you can see. This is the whole batch, I got 12 cookies that were about 2 1/2 inches in diameter. They don't expand during baking, so you can get them fairly close together.

I put them in the oven at 400° for 20-25 minutes.

We used Ranch dressing for dipping.

I gave one to Landon and winced while he took a bite, thinking I was going to get yelled at about how "THIS IS NOT A COOKIE, MOMMY!!!" But surprisingly he loved them, he ate 2 1/2 of them. Which is 2 1/4 more than Clinton ate.

I like them, I was surprised by how garlicky they were considering how little garlic I used. I loved that I could not taste the cauliflower. They do not reheat very well in the microwave, and are definitely better warm.

I'm thinking that I might want to try some other combos. Sweet potato and carrots or maybe pumpkin with cinnamon? As a replacement for zucchini cakes? Adding meat? Kay suggested maybe adding bacon, Clinton thought sausage might be a good addition.

Also considered they might be a good appetizer in a smaller dollop.

Clinton didn't like them, he's not quite the garlicoholic that I am and so I understand that.

But if I have to eat cauliflower, I think this is my preferred method.

Well that was...breaky.

Today is Monday and is completely Monday-like. MONDAY WITH A VENGEANCE!

Landon was awake this morning at 4:45. The jerk. Nothing makes me later than waking up earlier than planned.

I drove into work thinking I had forgotten my sunglasses, which I happened to find on the passenger seat while gathering up my lunch bag. Monday morning eye-pain! For no good reason!

Also, I have no clue where my badge for work is...so I got someone to let me in the building and on my floor and I can't leave the floor unless I go admit my lack of a badge to the receptionist, who will issue me a temporary one - which isn't a big deal, except they turn it off at the end of the day (as well as having turned off my real badge), so I have to tell them tomorrow also if I'm a total moron and still can't find it.

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I did enjoy my blogosphere break, in fact it gave me enough relaxation about things to go places and enjoy them instead of taking pictures and wondering how I was going to tell this story and that story and not everything was about this damn blog. And that's how it was in the beginning, and I liked that. We went to Clint's cousin's graduation party on the 18th (super yummylicious crawfish) and I didn't even take my camera out of the car. Never mind scary drive over there with the flooding and the rain, and the ant bites that still haven't completely disappeared 10 days later, it was an awesome experience, to just..be somewhere.

Sween-een