Freaky Friday

Last night after dinner, we stripped Landon down to his diaper and socks. As usual. He refused to put on jammies. As usual. He disappeared from the kitchen for a minute or so. As usual. And when he returned, he demanded that we put on his water shoes. The pair that is still too big for him. Over his socks. We tried to explain the fashion faux pas he was trying to commit, but he just wasn't hearing it.

I mailed off my inspector application. Plan # 5697 Is moving forward.

Censorship

There are a lot of things I don't write about on this blog. And about 95% of the things that happened this week fall into that category. I'm sorry about that. As a reward, I'll be posting tomorrow morning. I had a Dr. Appointment on Tuesday, I have a team building thing on Friday at lunch, so I'm going to come in on Friday morning to make up the hours from Tuesday. So you'll get an extra post this week, even if it's just a picture.

Landon finished his antibiotic yesterday morning and tomorrow morning I'll finish mine. We're both well on the way to recovery. FINALLY.

Question for you northern living type people. On TV, This Old House, HGTV kind of TV, I have seen them use this plastic sheeting stuff on their windows in the winter, to apply you tape it to the edge of the window then you blow dry it and it shrinks. It's supposed to help insulate against the cold. Here's an example of a product:

And I was thinking, since we have those diamond leaded glass windows and they have like 10,000 holes in them, if I used that stuff on our windows, we might be able to save money by not airconditioning the entire front yard. And my question is this: 1) can you see out of the window after it's applied? and 2) does it work?

Wordless Wednesday

Mother's Day Cards

We sent out mother's day cards to our mothers and grandmothers.



We had him sign them like this:

He's all about symmetry, so when his one hand produced a print, he tried to make the other produce a print.

But it wouldn't.

He finally gave up and just admired his pink hand.

His pink hand, which took another good 4 or 5 hours, multiple wipes, hand washings, and a shower to finally fade.

He wears his sunglasses at night

He wore his sunglasses all weekend.


Even while moving his cake pans from the cabinet to the window sill and back.

How does your air conditioner just know that you got your IRS rebate check? On the bright side, without actually FIXING it, and with just a recharge of freon, it's working better than it has since we moved in.


Landon went back to Linda's this morning for the first time since April 1st. And judging from the Birthday party over there on Saturday? They're going be having a lot of "discussions" today. About sharing. About being nice in general. He wasn't very interested in going in this morning, until Linda reminded him about how they have cereal there. And then it was "Mom who?" He'll be fine.

85%

I went home Tuesday from work in the middle of the day.

I did not go to work yesterday.

I watched entirely too much TV.

I am back.

At 85%.

But at least I think I'll live.

Signs, Signs, everywhere are signs

Don't even get me started on this one.

This one warms my heart. I am a sucker for a good pun.

And finally, a sign that the apocolypse is near...my sinus cavity has now fallen prey to the bug that has crippled our house for the past month. All it took was one stinkin' night in the same bed with Clint...breathing on me. GAH.

Monthly Newsletter #19

Dear Landon,

This is a little late in coming this month because when I sat down to write this last week, it looked a lot like this:

Dear Landon,

You’ve been sick for almost a month now. Stop
it.

Love,
Mama

And since that didn’t seem to be in the spirit of these letters, I decided to let it ride a few days and see if I could come up with something better. This is not much better, but here it goes.

This month you have begun to kind of half ass attempt at communicating with us. You’ve had so much diarrhea that it makes your butt hurt so bad, that you’ve finally decided to tell us when you poop. Which is a blessing. Except when it’s 4 times in a 10 minute span. Then it’s not so much a blessing as much as we wish you could recognize the end of it and then tell us. However, while I went to Walgreens to pick up some pedialyte you did tell your father that you needed the vapor rub stuff on your feet. And then socks. And what about jammies? You’re like a little adult with the parenting of yourself.

You’re starting to whack the dogs a little harder than I think you should, so we’ll be working harder on being nice to them in the first place instead of whacking them and then, oh yeah, I’m supposed to be nice, and hugging them.

This has been the month of the pool for you. It’s finally warm enough to get in. And we’ve taken a chance a few times and gotten in despite the illness. Most of the time it worked out for us. MOST of the time.

Oh yeah, don’t drink and drive.

Love,
Mama

P.S. No, seriously. Get to feeling better.

Do you recognize this?

So, Clint has been sick this week, and so has Landon. And as I seemed to have some extra time on my hands. And as I am wont to do in situations like this, I try to accomplish something, anything, for the love of god! Last time, I installed the baby-proof latches on the cabinets. This time I decided it was time to tackle the office.

Now, I have a system. It's probably not the best system but it should work. Theoretically. Each year I make file folders for each of our monthly bills. Ideally as the bills come in and I pay them, then file them in the appropriate folder and at the end of the year I lift the entire file drawer into a drag-up box, mark it with the year - place the income tax return at the back of the box and I have our financial business filed away in handy dandy little boxes should I need anything at a later date. (I do move legal documents from one year to the next as needed...like current voter registrations and whatnot.)

And then Landon was born.

And my whole system went to crap. Ok, let's be honest, I have never been good at keeping up with this, I tend to let things pile up for a few months and THEN file it away. And every time I do that, I think "This time, I'll actually file things as I pay them." And each time I FAIL miserably. I have given up on the idea that I would have them in order in the file - because it's like 12 pieces of paper, if I need a specific month, I can find it pretty quickly.

But this time? This time it's been like 9 months. Or at least, that's my estimate based on the dates of some of the things I filed. And somewhere along the way a large piece of furniture disappeared beneath the rubble.

And I was using laundry baskets to contain bills. That's basketS. Plural. That's how bad I had let it get.

I spent a total of about 5 hours on it - some on Sunday, some on Monday. First sorting and removing trash (no need to file envelopes and ads.) Then filing everything in the appropriate folders. Then making new folders for this year. Then going back and moving this year's stuff to new folders and flattening paper (folded paper takes up more room, and I just don't have the space.)

But yesterday. In the office. I found this magnificent piece of furniture.

It dates back to 2004, I believe. I wasn't sure exactly what it was at first, I hadn't seen it in so long, but then memories started flooding in. Hopefully it will be a useful piece of furniture, now that it can breathe.

Next illness? I tackle my sewing/crafty closet.

Fiona has her doubts that I'll ever get it straightened out.

Sharing

Landon used to be great at sharing.

I'm not sure if this is a result of not going to Miss Linda's for an entire month, where he has to share with Noah, and that he's spent the last month pretty much being the center of attention as the only little person around. Or maybe we're just getting into the "mine!" phase.

I fear Linda may have her work cut out for her when she gets him back.

Sicko

Remember when we were kids, and we got a virus, and the doctors used to give us antibiotics? Even though what s/he was really doing was have us wait 10 days for the virus to run its course? Or maybe, they knew that the virus would give way to an infection and we’d need the antibiotics to fight that off.

They said we were over antibioticized. So they’ve stopped doing that.

Now we leave the doctors office with nothing more often than not. But we make more return trips, because whatever it was gave way to something else, and now – we need medicine.

Landon got taken to the Doctor yesterday for the 3rd time this month. (We are totally making good use of our insurance this year.)

The first time was his 18 month check up. The second time was because of a cough he had picked up (probably while there for his 18 month check up.) And yesterday, because 3 weeks later, he still has that cough.

He held on to it for so long that he managed to get a throat infection. An infection that probably could have been prevented by some antibiotics given at that second appointment.

At any rate, after 3 weeks of this, I'm ready to go back to this:

Weekend de blah

In memoriam.

This camera has served me well. And I am truly sorry for allowing it to sit in my giant bag on top of the counter. I could have probably predicted that the bag would fall over and the camera bag would fall off.

The only thing wrong is that the flash doesn't work.

That's a minimum of a $200 repair. ($150 just to open the camera up.)

So now we have an outside sunny day camera. And we bought a new camera.

As much as I would like to believe we will continue to be friends and use the old camera...I'm pretty sure it's on its way to being phased out.

It served us well. Here are some of the last photos we took with it...even after its debilitating fall.

Please note the ferocious guard dog.

She's keeping an eye on him.

Ready to jump in at a moment's notice.

Here are some pictures with our new camera. I made the Pioneer Woman's pot roast again this weekend. This time with less Rosemary, tasted a lot less like a Christmas tree than it did last time.

The new camera has a few more mega pixels. Like 2.1 more. But I don't really know if that's going to make much of a difference, since I crop nearly everything I post. Anyway. Here's hoping I'm able to pick up and move on with this camera without too much trouble.

Hooters and Penises

Apparently it takes a real man to become maid of honor. Or, you know, .... a bride. Dang that picture is dark...I can't seem to fix it.

We went to Hooters and to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night. Hooters has crawfish. But do they have any signs saying that they have crawfish? No. Apparently I'm just supposed to magically KNOW they have crawfish. But I didn't. Not until we ordered already and then someone else's order of steamy crawfish came out. So we asked how long they would be serving crawfish...and we got this answer..."until the end of the season." THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS...we were kind of looking for "Usually the middle of May." Or "The end of April." Or even "We're almost at the end of our supply, so only a few more days." Because, "Until the end of the season," does not help a person to know that they could come back next Tuesday and get some yummy mud bugs.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a really funny movie. There was entirely too much male frontal nudity and I may never see Marshall from How I Met Your Mother in the same light again. But it's totally worth it for the Muppet Dracula Opera if nothing else. Plus Kristen Bell (from Veronica Mars) is totally awesome. We also noticed that some of the trailers contain scenes which are not actualy in the movie.

Any the only movie goer issue I had this time was the guy behind us who apparently wanted to talk through the entire previews. Some people actually want to see and hear those. But whatever, at least he shut up during the actual movie.

And the timeline year was 1986. Congratulations to The Modernish Father. My mother also got it right, but she emailed me privately, cause she cheated!

Never been good with History

I'm just not good at memorizing dates and stuff. Do you know what I remember from my world history class? Mrs. Murphy (aka Murph the Surf) wore a huge pony tail like extension in her hair and a different outfit (all the way down to different stilleto heels and different costume jewelry) every day. She showed us a slide show of her trip to Egypt in which she did not wear the hair extension (she looked fine without it) and told a story of little boys at the pyramids who asked for money and they would run up the pyramids and back down..."but sometimes they fell and well...you know...SPLAT!" Yup, that's my knowledge of world history.


On my way to work each morning, (provided I actually get out of the house prior to 7 am), on the news radio show I listen to on the way to work, they have a timeline contest. They list several events in a given year along with soundbites from each (I think theirs also correspond with the month), and you're supposed to guess the year. I try to play along, but I've never called in, because while I'm always very close. I'm almost always a year or two off.


It starts off with a couple world events, normally 1 is political and the other is not:

A bomb aboard a TWA plane over Athens kills four Americans.

Levi Strauss introduces a line of khaki casual pants in the fall under the name Dockers.

Then they give a movie:

“Back to School” starring Rodney Dangerfield played on the big screen.


Then they give a TV show which either debuted or had a huge event that year:

“ALF” debuted on NBC.

Then they give a radio hit:

"Walk Like and Egyptian” topped the charts.

So can you guess the timeline year? (No cheating...although I have no prize really...so if you cheat, you're only cheating yourself!)

Then they play a commercial and someone talks about financial stuff, and they come back and announce the name of the winner and the answer.

Anyway, on days I miss it completely, it feels like my day is off kilter a little.

But lately there has been another phenomenon. I'm listening, I hear the list, but then I somehow miss the answer. It's like I zone out or something. I suppose at least at that point I can google one of the clues to get the answer once I get to work, but I hardly ever remember to do that.

Answer will be posted tomorrow, if I don't zone out.

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

Two handsome dudes.

Redneck baby.

Today is Earth Day. So be...earthy, or something.

Dude, where's my camera?

Unfortunately I believe it's probably on my kitchen counter.

We went to GBC this weekend to visit the Wood side grandparents. It was such nice weather we spent a lot of time outside. Landon played in his sandbox, he tried to pick every one of those little white onion-y smelling flowers in the yard.

And after watching Grandpa Wood open the gate just once on the back porch? The back porch is no longer baby proof. Fiona allowed him to think he was in control of her while he held the leash, she never even pulled, and she just stood nearby and walked where he walked.

There was some minimal drama - Scarlett got her leash stuck between the boards on the porch and nearly choked to death. It took two of us tackling her to get her to relax her front legs so we could get her free. Lesson learned, leashes come off on the porch now.

Landon's great-grandparents were celebrating their 62nd wedding anniversary this weekend. So the family surprised them by coming to church with them.

Grandma had made Grandpa and Landon matching shirts - which they both wore to the service. They were both very handsome. I have a picture, I promise.

It's such a small church, they sang Happy Birthday to someone and then to the same tune, Happy Anniversary to them. There was clapping, which Landon joined in on exactly 30 seconds after everyone finished.

He got to put the money in the offering plate, except he likes to put stuff in other stuff over and over again - it's a constant struggle to get him to STOP FEEDING THE DOGS please! And he followed the offering plate down the row; he wanted to put more money in. Or more likely take back that money and put it in again.

I tried keeping him busy with the prayer request cards and fans and the hymnals. And when that failed, vanilla wafers. Except that he kind of wanted everyone to know how great the cookies tasted. Shrieking joy!

He was only able to contain himself for about half the service, and then we retired to the parking lot, as there were a lot of birds to chase and rocks to rearrange - in fact we still have one of those rocks - it was the only one he did not want to throw back down - nothing like stealing from the church.

We tried to come back in, so I could hear some of the service, but that was when he discovered the joy of pushing the buttons on the water fountain. It's quite exciting to push a button and have water shoot out of the little hole! We should tell people, they might not know! So we had to go back outside.

He fell asleep on the way back to the house, where we were supposed to have a family lunch, but his sleepiness made up our mind to head on back to Houston.

Of course, he didn't stay asleep for long, and about half way home decided his shirt was bothering him, so he rode the rest of the way half naked.

Maybe I'm just Pissy

I saw this sticker on the way home yesterday and it made me mad.

"Silly Boy's Truck's are for Girl's."

Does everyone see what's wrong with that? Here's my main issue. Someone was probably relying on Word to proofread for them (that's how I generally proofread my blog entries - so I'm not really finding fault with the idea of using it as a proofreader) and Word is fine with it. This means 2 things. 1) Clearly the person who wrote it out doesn't get the difference between plurals and possessives. Is that not something that's being taught? Or have we taught the younger generation to rely so heavily on computers that they don't even know when something is wrong? 2) It went by at least 2 or 3 more people before becoming a sticker and no one noticed or corrected it, which just makes me sad - and I'm not even an English major or anything. (Clearly, because this blog is chock full of run-on sentences and sentence fragments.) [ It should be noted that it looked like a custom sticker, the girl driving or whoever gave it to her probably had it made - it did not appear to be a mass produced sticker - I've seen the saying before on stickers where everything is properly un-punctuated.]


Yesterday, since we were child free for the evening, we decided to go out for a nice dinner and a movie. We saw 21 for those who care - it's a pretty good movie. I stayed awake the whole time, and we didn't get out until almost 11:30pm - so that REALLY says something when I'm normally asleep by 9:00 or so. Anyway, they have the normal preview stuff about turning off your cell phones and seriously, at least 3 people in the theater spent the entire movie texting. WHY?!?!? Why did you pay $9.50 to see a movie if you're just going to text people the whole time? Not to mention the stupid glow from the phone. I guess at least the texting crap is silent. GAHHH I hate cell phones, I hate blue tooth and the people who think they're so important that they have to wear it 100% of the time. You're not THAT important that you couldn't keep it in your pocket and pull it out when someone calls. Which brings me to: maybe you should spend the time with the person you're with instead of talking to other people. It's just rude. And don't even get me started on the stupidity of people who talk on the phone in public restrooms.


Clearly I was born 30 or 40 or 100 years too late.

The Future of Landon

It amazes me that some people think they can decide what their kid will be when they grow up. People base these assumptions on all kinds of things. Some people think their kid should support them in their retirement (Hi, Lynne Spears.)

Some people just assume that based on what toys their kid plays with that will be what they are destined to be. Here’s a clue, if you only give your kid animal toys and then deduce he’ll be a vet because that’s what he plays with…you’re cracked.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about a little speculation. I mean, I love that Landon plays with kitchen utensils; maybe he’ll be a chef! Or that he likes to dance every time he hears music – maybe he’ll be a performer of some kind. If he plays with dolls, maybe he’ll be a most excellent father. And we joke of course, right now, Landon is afraid of a certain dinosaur – so I guess paleontology is out of the question!

I have hopes for Landon. But they’re more broad. I hope to mold him into a well-rounded productive citizen. One that is observant and helpful to the people around him. One that is capable of living his own life and making decisions for himself that do not require me to bail him out in any way, shape, or form. One that is capable of solving his own problems, but also one that recognizes when he needs help and knows where he can turn to get it. And I hope that whatever path his life takes, that he will be happy.

Would I love for him to be an eye doctor so I can get free contacts and he can enjoy a large salary and setting his own hours? Absolutely.

Would I be fine if he turns out to be a lion tamer? Absolutely.

Hugging Puppies, a primer

So, you've probably seen the giant dog hugging a baby email that's been circulating.


In contrast, we have a baby who wants so badly to hug his dogs.


Step 1. You must start off in an excellent mood. Dogs generally do not want you to hug them if you approach them screaming.

Step 2. Find a target...I mean dog. Open your arms wide for the approach.

Step 3. Hug. Please note that some dogs stay still and let you hug them for as long as you want.

And some dogs believe that they are in some kind of calf wrangling competition and try and squirm away.

I'm alive!

I feel really really good about the morning session. In the first two rounds, I felt like I maybe got half the morning right. This time I only starred 5 problems to review. And in talking to people after, I kind of think maybe I got another 1 or 2 wrong, but 32/40 is excellent. In the afternoon I felt awful, but not as awful as I felt the last time. So we'll see. I expect results in early June.

To answer mama's questions. I'm not shutting the civil pe prep blog down. In fact, I'll probably post something similar to this over there today. And then I'll post again in June to say whether I passed or not. If I did pass, I'll leave it up for sure, but I don't know what else to do with it. I suppose if people wanted to ask questions, I could try to answer them. If I didn't pass, I will revive it. I felt so well prepared for the morning session, that I will be aiming to be more prepared for the afternoon next time. (We'll see if I get any questions about a dino set and i-shirt, and also I still owe you a dino bib...I just have to find the time to put it together!)

We didn't take any new pictures this weekend. Partly because I was just trying to hang out and not do anything at all. And partly because Landon's cough added a rash. And who needs a picture of a little person and his rash. (He's fine.) But here's something from the files. (Fear not bad mother and health police, he eats the equivalent of 2 or 3 tablespoons and moves on with his life, no need to finish a cone the size of your forearm.)

And of course, when you're finished dancing in the store, you should take a break.

Third Time's The Charm

I hope.

So I definitely feel better about the test this time. I changed my study policy (procedure? plan? approach? yeah it's approach.) I actually reviewed everything in the breadth section and as much as I could for the depth section.

Although, as always as the test date appraoches, I start freaking out a little bit about what I don't know.

The change in the test (addition of the construction section, reduction of environmental and water resources) means they will probably take longer to grade them this time. Their grading system is weird - from their description of it, it's a curve, but they are adamant that it is NOT a curve. They're pretty vague about it, but from what I've gathered. They basically grade everyone's test (scantron) and then if a bunch of people got one answer wrong they go back and look at the question to see if there's a problem with the question (i.e. parts are unclear, assumptions can lead to different answers, etc.) If they find the question to be the problem, they throw it out. Now for the people who got the question wrong, this is great...but for the people who got it right - it sucks, because they may have gotten other questions wrong and this one right and it doesn't even help them. They also do some analysis on questions the first time they are put in rotation (like all the construction questions). THEN (and here's where I believe the thing to be a curve) they pick a number of questions to be answered right to achieve a passing score, assuming that the past percentage of people passing should remain relatively constant and grade based on that number of questions being a 70%. So while there are 80 questions total, and in a straight out situation you would need 56 to pass, you may only need 45 or 47 or 50 depending on their analysis. Anyway, I think it may also mean I have a better shot at passing. Hopefully. I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic. It's hard. It's not my forte.

Landon has a cough. It sounds like he's got a little congestion in his chest, but nothing gooey is oozing out of him, so hopefully, my being loaded up on vitamins and Zicam, I can survive without getting sick before the test.

I am taking tomorrow off. I am not studying or cramming tomorrow. I know what I know and I don't know what I don't know.

Wish me luck!

Did you pick the right faucet?

One of the many many many projects we did with our income tax return was to replace the kitchen faucet.


We have hard water, and there was so much build up of calcium deposits and stuff that you had to turn the faucet off in a specific way or it just dripped and dripped and dripped.


So we picked a new faucet with the many features we prefer. It's taller, it has 2 handles instead of the one lifty thing on top (that's a technical term). But if there was any doubt as to whether we picked the right one or not? It was gone when I read the instructions for installation.


How could a faucet installation guide which includes cursing not be the clue that you got the right faucet?



And also the encouragement to spit and take a break! And some warnings you'll never find in most of the bland faucet installation instructions.


And here's where I turn into a big tease, because I took pictures of the new faucet...and they're no longer on the camera. I have a whole "where'd your income tax refund go?" post to do, but it'll probably be early next week.

I'm gonna apologize right up front

So this week.

This Friday.

Is my test.

And that's where my mind is. I'm taking Thursday off, so i won't be posting Thursday, and well, my posts are going to be pretty dull this week.

We didn't do much exciting over the weekend, but you know sometimes, you're walking through Garden Ridge and they have those platforms that they use to hold pots, and sometimes they don't have a lot of stuff on them, and sometimes the music just grabs you? And you have to dance.