Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Pollen Manifesto

Pollen and I have a rough relationship. We always have. I believe I must have been some kind of anti-pollen activist in a former life, because it seems that pollen has always had it in for me. Starting at birth. Apparently it wasn't until we moved out of the country to a small city that my mother realized my eyes were actually much bigger than she had originally thought.



And it wasn't until I was 11 or so when I had month long headaches that we actually had me tested and found that I was indeed allergic to a bazillion things including, but not limited to, pollen from every tree that ever existed within my eye sight. So my first actual line of defense was allergy shots, which worked for quite some time. And then I stopped taking them. I really don't know why, but we eventually just stopped.



And when I entered college I had a regimen by which I woke up every morning and took a generic Chlortrimaton. It was necessary if I wanted to, I don't know, breathe. I went to the Quack Shack one time for something like pink eye and got a doctor who actually was willing to look me in the eye, unlike another certain doctor. And had the following conversation:



"Are you pregnant?"



"No."



"Do you take any medication daily?"



"Birth Control and an anti-histamine."



"WHAT?!?!? YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT, YOU SHOULDN'T BE DRIVING WHILE TAKING ANTI-HISTAMINES, THEY PUT YOU IN A HAZE AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALLY SEE ANYTHING!!!"



"Oh, so are you volunteering to follow me around and resuscitate me when I finally fall over from not being able to breathe?"



"Well, um...er...there's a spectrum...and uh...you must be on the low end...and maybe it doesn't effect you that way."



"Thanks, can we talk about my eye now?"



So for the past 3 years I managed to have some kind of pregnancy/breastfeeding bubble surrounding my immune system which was awesome and I haven't taken an anti-histamine on a regular basis since we started trying to get pregnant [3 years ago].



And as of 2 months ago, when we finally gave up the last of the breastfeeding, my bubble has burst - pollen has again shown its ugly face. I have not been well for any length of time in 2 months. Coincidentally tree pollen is at extreme levels according to my weatherman of choice - which he cheerfully tells me every morning. This last bout has been the worst. I am re-starting my daily anti-histamine regimen in retaliation. I will not go down without a fight.



I'm tempted to blame Obama, since it started happening almost exactly when he was inaugurated, and I figured if Bush was responsible for Hurricane Katrina then why couldn't Obama be responsible for the extreme levels of tree pollen? It makes just about as much sense.

Just to be clear, he's not pooping, he's looking at turtles in the pond.

Yeah, this is later than my normal posts, but I've got the writer's block. So sue me.

8 comments:

Someone Being Me said...

I feel your pain. My allergies had been doing awesome the past few weeks while everyone else around me was dying but they suddenly struck today. Ugh!

STQ said...

I love it - Obama is to blame for the pollen production! I mean, where is FEMA for you in your time of need?? :) I had terrible cedar allergies when we lived in Austin from oh, say, Christmas until Easter every year. Now we live in Vegas, and I think I've sneezed twice. Come move next door to me!

kbreints said...

ugh! I am sorry about your pollen-problems...you know it was not until I became pregnant that I was EVER allergic to ANYTHING... and now? I have allergies.

Funny how pregnacy does those strange things to you, huh?

so... it sounds like you need to become pregnant again :)

Kristine said...

STQ - I will start packing tonight, you can expect me tomorrow morning.

kbrients - if I didn't know better, I'd think you were working for someone in my husband's family.

The Modernish Father said...

I lived in Texas for the first 22 years of my life without a single problem. Flowers could be erupting pollen and animals could be shedding fur on my pillow - not an once of congestion.

Lived in Colorado for two years and I've had nothing but trouble since we moved back home.

I don't think pregnancy is involved in any way though, unless second-hand pregnancy can do such things.

bernthis said...

my kid has allergies, I believe, we're going to find out in the next couple of weeks. I dread having to put her through the allergy tests. I've been so lucky to not have to deal with allergies, although I am lactose intolerant, okay, TMI, I know

Mandy said...

LMAO at STQ ... FEMA for allergies .. awesome, I am sure they would have put stimulus money to that had it occurred to them.

Mama said...

Wow! My allergies quit while I am pregnant/breastfeeding, too, but my doctor told me that wasn't possible. Glad to know I'm not the only one "imagining" that scenario.