I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Do you have that song in your head now? Sorry…well, not really. If it’s still in your head tomorrow, I’m sorry.

I’ve spent the last couple days looking seriously for a nanny. I put it off, partly because I had an evil hope that Ashley wouldn’t get her job in DC (She did and I’m very excited for her, it’s really a neat opportunity), and partly because I knew it would be a hard find. I want someone who will either come to our home or keep him in their home. I need someone who has some experience with colicky babies, or at least a tremendous amount of patience. I need someone with whom I feel comfortable leaving him. I had a lead on one, but she has a job already. I asked the lady next door who already takes care of some kids during the day and she said she’d let me know, but she didn’t seem really interested. I emailed a few people on craigslist and houstonzone and asked for references and rates. By the way, when you post an ad asking for a job or professing your services – USE SPELL CHECK and GRAMMAR CHECK. If an ad tells me you are “flooent in Inglish” or that “Englesh is yore furst langage.” I’m not really convinced. I don’t honestly care if you speak much English, if you love my baby, but don’t pretend to be something you’re not. I have a listing of registered home based care places from the state of Texas, but I need to map them before I figure out which ones I want to call first.

My main problem so far, is that leaving him with Ashley or my mother has been SO great. I know they love him and I know he’s in good hands and I’m not crying my way to work like I did when I left him at day care. The thought of trying to explain to yet another person that he doesn’t need to eat every hour, or that just because he cries doesn’t mean he’s hungry exhausts me. And in all honesty – I want to be the one that’s there. I want to be home with him. I want that more than anything. I have my plan in place and I’m working on it seriously, but until then I need this one thing to work out, for now anyway.

I do have an appointment on Tuesday with a lady who would keep him in her home. I’d have to drive into some of the worst traffic in the evening and then back out of it, so I have to really like her, but I’m going to talk to her anyway.