Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My kid is just not that rambunctious

On Sunday we went to Whole Foods, I did not fit in because I wasn't wearing Birkenstocks.

Landon hadn’t had his nap yet, and he was kind of ornery. He didn’t want to ride in a cart, and instead insisted on walking down each aisle counting the lights. (He counted to 13 before he got stuck…he started at 7 instead of 1, but that’s neither here nor there.)

As we were checking out, Landon decided the play with the part of the cart that swings so that it can join other carts in the line. And I told him twice not to do it, and then decided that it wasn’t life threatening and he would just have to pinch himself and see that it hurt to learn his lesson (this is rather than pick him up and fight him about it, loudly). Natural consequences and all that.

Instead, I got accosted by a lady who was all “Ma’am!” (Again with the ma’am crap.) "An INJURY is about to occur!" As if I had been standing there picking my nose. I was all, "Yeah, I know, I told him." And she looked at me like I was stupid.

But you know what? He didn't pinch himself, because he's a careful kid. He always has been. When he’s upstairs in his room by himself and decides to come down, he yells from the top of the stairs, that he’s coming down, and that he’s holding on to the rail or that he’s on his tummy. At the very least, he’s alerting us, so that we can stand at the bottom of the stairs and catch him if we need to. He investigates things carefully, he doesn’t put strange things in his mouth, and he gets visibly upset if it appears that one of his toys is in jeopardy of being broken.

I’m glad she’s sitting at the door of Whole Foods, giving $1/minute foot massages AND looking out for all the kids whose Moms are too busy to notice them. Because if there’s a subset of this community whose parenting skills need to be called into question by someone who just looked up from a book 2 seconds prior to making that judgement, it’s the people at Whole Foods. [Tongue planted firmly in cheek.]

6 comments:

The Modernish Father said...

"An INJURY is about to occur!" - I've been laughing about that line for the past five minutes.

I've learned to never underestimate the ability of others to underestimate my parenting skills.

nonsoccermom said...

HA HA HA! Like my husband, I cracked up at the same line. What is with some people?

Good news - Landon sounds a lot like AE, and he continues to be an easygoing, cautious kid. If you have another one, though, all bets are off. HOLY GOD.

Kristine said...

nsm - that's what scares me.

Mama said...

I've gotta go with nonsoccermom on this. My first child is every teacher's pet. She says things like, "I think I'd like to lay down for a bit."

The second? Well, the daycare actually called me yesterday to please come get him because he wouldn't stop throwing things. AT the teachers.

bernthis said...

whole foods:


Overpriced check
Judgemental check

Anonymous said...

At least you know what "Birkenstock" is...

...I don't, and I don't care. Whole Foods just isn't convenient enough to give up H.E.B. for me.

I've been trying to come up with a reactionary look for people like that lady.

So far I've got the Dur-te-dur thing where you make a sign language "Q" with your hand and use it to tap your breatbone a couple of times.

However, I haven't been quick enough on the uptake to use it, and J&B don't cause those reactions so much anymore.

(they cause other ones which I won't go into here)

Blow her off!

Kelly