Him: Hey, I haven’t seen our neighbor’s husband in a while. He seems to only show up on weekends. Do you think he works out of town?
Me: Maybe they’re getting a divorce.
Him: But he stays there when he shows up on weekends.
Me: Well the Iowa truck is back, and they left that U-haul on the street. Maybe she’s having an affair with that guy.
Him: But when he was here before, her husband was at home all the time.
Me: Maybe that’s why they’re getting a divorce.
Him: And he used to do all the yard work, but I saw her hire someone to do it last week.
Me: Maybe he’s dead and that’s a zombie you see coming home on weekends. You know, you don’t want zombies doing your yard work. They’re not very good at it, and the tend to just drop body parts all over the yard. Plus, anyone who has a dinner party in my dream in the middle of a hurricane, is just weird to me anyway. I’m just glad they finally moved the U-haul.
Him:…
Me: Don’t you wish you had a blog?
Him: Like a video blog?
Me: You’re thinking of starting one right now, so you can tell your side of the story of living with me.
Him: Do you still want a reality TV show?
Me: Are you trying to end this marriage with divorce? Or do you think we could be the one couple to have a reality TV show and not end up divorced?
Him: What about John & Kate Plus 8, or the Duggars?
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s about the kids.
Him: What about Sharon and Ozzy?
Me: Maybe they’re getting a divorce.
Him: But he stays there when he shows up on weekends.
Me: Well the Iowa truck is back, and they left that U-haul on the street. Maybe she’s having an affair with that guy.
Him: But when he was here before, her husband was at home all the time.
Me: Maybe that’s why they’re getting a divorce.
Him: And he used to do all the yard work, but I saw her hire someone to do it last week.
Me: Maybe he’s dead and that’s a zombie you see coming home on weekends. You know, you don’t want zombies doing your yard work. They’re not very good at it, and the tend to just drop body parts all over the yard. Plus, anyone who has a dinner party in my dream in the middle of a hurricane, is just weird to me anyway. I’m just glad they finally moved the U-haul.
Him:…
Me: Don’t you wish you had a blog?
Him: Like a video blog?
Me: You’re thinking of starting one right now, so you can tell your side of the story of living with me.
Him: Do you still want a reality TV show?
Me: Are you trying to end this marriage with divorce? Or do you think we could be the one couple to have a reality TV show and not end up divorced?
Him: What about John & Kate Plus 8, or the Duggars?
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s about the kids.
Him: What about Sharon and Ozzy?
Me: Are they even married?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Oh, I was thinking of the other guy, um... the KISS guy.
Him: Gene Simmons?
Me: Yeah.
Him: They're not married, but they've been together like 17 years.
Me: Oh, that makes such a difference. Let's totally do reality TV, we so won't end up divorced.
Me: Oh, that makes such a difference. Let's totally do reality TV, we so won't end up divorced.
4 comments:
HA HA HA!! We totally have conversations like that too. Love it!
One of our neighbors' husbands totally disappeared about a year ago. Saw him putting up Christmas decorations one day, had a pleasant conversation with him and haven't seen him since.
Judging from some of the stuff I've seen go on that house, I'm guessing he ran away.
its a good thing we don't have a reality tv show, it'd be the most boring thing to watch, and we also have very random conversations though ours were centering on who might be a drug dealer.
If I could be the fly on the wall in other people's homes, it's amazing what they say, you included.
perhaps I'd still be married too if I exposed my entire life to the world. Wish I'd thought about that before I kicked him to the curb
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