Tuesday, November 04, 2008

5 Inadvertent Benefits of Food Poisoning

We still don’t really know if it was food poisoning or some very very mean stomach virus. I prefer to think it was the former, because that way I can banish the restaurant from my repertoire and be done with it and never think of it again. The latter would require purchasing large plastic bubble suits for the three of us and that’s going to get expensive. I don’t even know how to start with the cleaning of plastic bubble suits, are they dry clean only? Are they like jackets and you only wash them once you see dirt on them or do you wash them daily like your normal clothes? See why I blame food poisoning? It’s just easier.

Anyway, on to the benefits:

  • A child free weekend – sure you don’t get to enjoy it because you’re spending 65-75% of your time on the toilet in one form or fashion, but at least you only have to wipe your own butt.

  • Weight loss – not that this is a fool proof system and not that it’s the healthiest way to lose weight, but I did lose 3 lbs over the weekend.

  • Overcoming addiction – after spending three days eating minimally and drinking mostly water and Gatorade, I went through my caffeine withdrawal while experiencing the rest of my issues and it was barely noticeable. In fact the carbonation hurt my stomach this morning when I got my usual, so I will probably be kicking the habit once and for all.

  • Clearing your DVR – it’s not like you can do pool maintenance or mow the lawn, you have to maintain a certain proximity to the bathroom and you’re weak to boot, so, since you have nothing else to do but watch TV, it’s time to clear the DVR.

  • Renting movies – once the DVR is empty, it’s time to rent some movies. Redbox is awesome if you know you have the uninterrupted time to watch movies and will not be late returning them. This of course requires at least once person to be in good enough condition to drive. We rented Baby Mama – predictable, but cute, also, we taught Landon to give Mojo – so totally worth it, and Leatherheads – I don’t know, I couldn’t really concentrate on it, it was too slow and I ended up going downstairs to finish laundry instead.

What you thought I’d talk about voting on election day?


Go vote.


Aunt Becky said...

I am totally jealous. How messed up am I? I get the flu/food poisoning, and I GAIN weight. I barf it all out (or the *ahem* other stuff) and I still put on lbs.

Where they come from is anyone's guess.

Carol said...

glad you found some benefits to being sick, I hate being sick...

I left you an award on my blog :) I think its the new chain letter.