Wonder Killer strikes again, Fighting

Did you know that 83% of arguments are actually the result of miscommunication? (And that 100% of the statistics on this post are completely fabricated?)

How many times have you gotten into an argument and found out at the end of it all, that you both were nearly on the same side all along? Or been in one where one side or the other (OR BOTH) took something the "wrong way" and then it spiraled out of control.

Communicating clearly is probably the easiest way to avoid arguments. But even when you think you are communicating clearly, you may not be.

Something, oddly enough, that I learned in my inspection classes. Did you know that when 2 people are talking there are 6 sides to the conversation? It only gets more confused after another person joins in – it doubles – 3 people talking 12 sides. 4 people talking? 20 sides. (Note to self, only ever talk to one person at a time.) For you math junkies:
n=number of people in conversation
n*(n+1)=number of sides to the conversation



No wonder people have such a hard time communicating. Let’s break it down in the simplest form: 2 people are talking. (You and Me)



6 sides:

1) What I said

2) What I think I said

3) What You think I said

4) What You said

5) What I think You said

6) What You think You Said



In some cases 1, 2, & 3 are the same, and 4, 5, & 6 are the same. Sometimes. Probably not as often as you’d think.



Take a simple actual conversation like this:

Billy Joe - “Sure is cold out today.”

Bobbie Sue - “The weather man said it would warm up later on.”



Sounds reasonable, let’s work through it though:

1) Billy Joe said “Sure is cold out today.”

2) Billy Joe thinks he said “I’m really cold, I had to put on an extra layer of clothes”

3) Bobbie Sue thinks BillyJoe said “Why aren’t you wearing your jacket, you moron?”

4) Bobbie Sue said “The weather man said it would warm up later on.”

5) Billy Joe thinks Bobbie Sue said “I’m not a sissy like you, so I don’t need extra clothes.”

6) Bobbie Sue thinks she said “I’m not wearing a jacket, because I didn’t want to be hot later.”



It’s probably not that charged a conversation in real life, but it’s possible. And it’s just an example, get off my back people. (See what I did there? And you’re not even actually saying anything, but I’m thinking you said something and I responded to what I thought you said and you probably didn’t mean it that way.)

That's probably why therapists say things like "What I hear you saying is _______." It gives the other side a chance to clarify. It might be worth putting into practice, when someone says something to you and you think they're attacking you, just repeating back to them what you heard, to make sure you got it right. Once you know what they mean, you can rear back and ball your fist only when necessary, and retreat if they didn't mean it like that.



Anyway, it’s just a small nugget of information that has helped me avoid some conflicts (note I said some, not all) since I learned it, maybe it can do the same for you.

LBSCBDO

Clinton felt the need to correct me on today’s post. (and after this one, he may never do it again.) He claims that I not only require waking up on my own, but I require food before I can be a morning person. The short version – he’s wrong.

The long version – his reasoning is that on weekends I lose my temper with him in the mornings prior to eating. What he leaves out is that when we get up on a weekend and I say I’m hungry, he moseys out of bed, takes a leisurely shower, hangs around the bedroom with out a shirt on, falls under the spell of the TV a few times, and even possibly starts doing something entirely different from getting ready, like sorting laundry because he has some NEED to be the very last person to be ready to go anywhere (unless it’s for him, which is another post for another time.)

So at this point, I’m tapping my foot and huffing and puffing and shaking keys and yelling, because when I said I was hungry I had envisioned him jumping out of bed, getting dressed fireman style and walking out to the car, right then, not taking a shower and lounging around for 45 minutes watching TV. And yes, I get mad because when I said I was hungry, I did not mean – I will be hungry in 45 minutes. I meant I’m hungry now! And if I make my own breakfast and not bother him with it? I’m mean because he wanted to have that too, and why didn’t I wait for him. I can’t win for losing.

That does not disqualify me from being a morning person. It has nothing to do with the time of day – it has everything to do with telling someone an immediate need of yours and then having them completely ignore it for 45 minutes. I think it should qualify me for a tax deduction.

The fact that I get so frustrated and angry, I attribute to LBSCBDO (Low Blood Sugar Cranky Butt DisOrder). As stolen from The Pioneer Woman.

He has it too, only his generally manifests itself at 2 or 3 pm after he “forgets” to eat lunch.

Landon will probably be inflicted as well. I’m almost positive it’s genetic.

Change it Back!!!!

I hate driving home from work in the dark. HATE. IT.

People turn stupid when the sun goes down. And even though now my morning commute is in daylight, there are less people on the road, and therefore less stupid people - that's the one I prefer to do in the dark.

Landon is also having some problems adjusting to the time change. It's almost enough to make me want to move to Phoenix.

Teenagers

Landon is now 15 days old. And I can't help but notice how much a 15 years old boy and a 15 day old boy are the same.

When he wakes up he thinks about food almost immediately (also boobs).

He likes to sleep all morning and stay up all night.

When he's watching TV, don't dare take him away from it - or there will be consequences.

He will NOT tell you what's wrong, but totally expects you to fix it anyway.

I'm posting some new pictures on Flickr.