Let's pretend this week never happened, okay?

Landon's teacher has a bulletin board where they put family portaits from the kids so that they "feel like they're at home." I don't really see how a picture is going to make it feel like home. But whatever. So they asked for a family portrait, and I have exactly one recent picture of Clinton and Landon and me all together. And this is it:


I can get over the fact that Clinton isn't smiling, he's only smiling in pictures if you accidentally take one when he's not aware it's going to happen. But can someone for the love of God teach me how to pose for a picture without bringing my chin back into my neck causing the triple chin?

On Monday we were down to no cars. My car needed brakes fairly badly, because that's just perfect timing and everything, and also a rear brake light and an oil change and a state inspection. But at least I got that one back Monday evening. Today we should be back up to two - the truck is done and Clinton is picking it up this morning. And the stolen car is still unresolved.

This week I:

• Watched a lady motion for another car to merge into her lane to get around a stalled vehicle. And then she proceeded to ram them as they tried to come into her lane. And then they both drove off - no exchange of information or anything.
• Saw a "Buy Local" bumper sticker - on a Honda.
• Cleaned cat puke off my windshield for the very first time in all my driving years. And had to use baby wipes to do it, because the hose is still disconnected and the faucet is still wrapped from the freeze, and also note: I'm kind of lazy.
• Got the sprinkler thingy fixed that broke from the freeze.
• Came home to find a neighbor dog (not the neighbor from hell, but the neighbor behind us) in my back yard and a crater sized hole under the fence between our yards. But the neighbor wasn't home the two times I tried to alert them to the issue. And also the dog went back - at least I assume so because she's not in my yard anymore.

Football

Everyone should have a cousin who is about 10 years older, who is willing to play football with you.

Even better, should he pretend to actually have been tackled by you!

Because, why be down by one vehicle when you could be down by two?

Everyone is fine. And the truck is already in the shop and they're even going to start working on it today. We'll probably have it back before the stolen car thing is settled, then I just have to pray they won't drop us.

I'm wishing I could go back in time and go ahead and reinstate the rental policy on the insurance, instead of thinking that I could wait until the stolen car thing was settled, but hindsight is 20/20.

Kind of like New York, but not and by the way only the parents really seemed to care.

The Children's Museum hosted a New Year's Party complete with a ball drop at noon on New Year's Eve.

Landon and I went along with the rest of the population of Houston.

We did the normal Children's Museum things,

but we also headed outside right before noon for the ball drop, as I said, with the rest of the population of Houston.

The parents cheered and counted down as the ball dropped. And then they did it again when these signs were on a few second delay.

And my kid? Was too busy to be bothered even looking in the direction of balls dropping or counting down or anything. Because he had found a boat to carry around and an aimable stream of water.

Weekend O Fire

This child ruined every plan I had this weekend.

The puking, thank God, only lasted an hour or so, but the 102-103° fever lasted 48+ hours. Thereby canceling all weekend plans.

I watched roughly 36 hours of The Incredibles, Caillou, The Sandlot, Clifford, Dinosaur Train, Super Why, and Go, Diego, Go! And changed my sheets no less than 4 times.

Oh and the bonus of the weekend was the vacuum overflow valve thingie on the sprinkler system that popped off due to the freeze and flooded my yard and driveway before a neighbor knocked on my door to let me know about it.

This is one of those Mondays when I'm glad to be back at my desk.

Oh, you noticed that part?

So these are things I mentioned in passing and never came back to, so am providing an update.

• Ok, so the car thing. I didn't talk about because, well - it's boring really. We have insurance. The detective said his car was the "flavor of the month." Which means that within a few hours it was probably chopped into tiny pieces and sold. He also said if that's not why it was taken, that a lot of cars stolen during the holidays turn up after the first of the year when people begin noticing strange cars that don't belong in their parking lots that they overlooked previously thinking they might belong to some visitors or something. The insurance people say it will take about 3 weeks to do all the investigations and close the case, we have about 1 week of that to go. At this point, I don't think we even want to car back. If we got it back and it was repairable, I think it would probably be up for sale nearly immediately.

• Landon's bloodwork came back, if he has any allergies, they are seasonal, not regular allergies like mine. Which is good to know.

• The bank fixed the website so I was able to pay my mortgage.

• My bloodwork came back and I am deficient in vitamin B12, and also have "atrocious" cholesterol (which I kind of already knew.)

• My boss has freaked out now twice about people finding things in my officemate's boxes [he's only in the office once a week], but he's the only one going through them and finding the things he's freaking out about (employment package and raise letter.) The boxes bother him so much he's unpacked two of them and I see him eyeballing mine. I told him I wasn't unpacking them because everytime I get totally unpacked I end up having to move again. Also, it's kind of a bonus now that I know it's bothering him.

Monthly Newsletter #39

Dear Landon,

This month for you was, of course, all about Christmas. This year you kind of “got” the whole Santa Claus bit, which was awesome. Also I found out that our mall Santa is equally as awesome as the guy at the North Pole – which as you understand it is the real Santa, but the other Santas we see before Christmas are just his helpers. When you threw a big fit after we stood in line for 45 minutes he told me to walk you around the mall, maybe get something to eat and come back, but to come to the exit and they would let me in so I wouldn’t have to wait in line again. And it worked and we got a decent Santa picture - which is more than I can say about last year.

Also, it snowed, in Houston – which is like unheard of – except it did snow last year, but it didn’t stick so I don’t count it and I don’t think anyone else should either. So naturally I picked you up a little early from school so we could have a snow ball fight in the front yard. You did not want to even consider laying down in it for snow angel making – which is pretty smart really, it’s not like we own snow pants and when I did it I ended up having to like change clothes almost immediately and my snow angel was kind of pathetic since we only got like half an inch of snow. (Right now people who are from up north are laughing at the idea of crazy Houston people getting all excited about snow, but hey – they get all crazy about heat and we’re like – what? Over 100 degrees for 13 days – BRING IT!!)

This year your school decided that the Christmas program should take place in the middle of the day – even though they are a place that cares for children whose parents work and last year they did it in the evening which was better. I’m beginning to think people should just run their ideas by me before they’re allowed to make any decisions, it would make everyone’s life that much easier. Anyway, luckily I work for people who think family is important so I was able to attend. I even took a video. And you stood in the back behind some other kid with a tall nutcracker hat on. And I saw your glimmering little smile a whopping 2 seconds the entire time. Plus you guys danced to some kind of weird song I’d never heard of. “First Toy Maker to the King.” Weird. You were totally excited about it anyway and I guess next year I’ll have to teach you about the fact that we are short people (you and I) and we must push our way to the front when on stage in order to be seen.

This year, Christmas lights played a huge role for you. At Thanksgiving we went on our annual trip through the drive through light display with Grandma and Grandpa Wood, and each evening that we had a little spare time I took you to the street in the back of our neighborhood that teams up to do a group display. I also drove you down the street in Lake Jackson that does the same kind of thing. And your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Hector began a new tradition this year, a Christmas light seeing hay ride. It was so much fun. It was a little chilly, but the lights were great and you had a lot of fun and we sang Christmas carols and everything.

One night while riding through the street in our neighborhood with all the lights you said “I see ‘joy’!” And you did. The plywood cut out of the word “Joy” was lit up in the yard. I asked if you had read it, and you said “No, I just know it.” You are beginning to memorize books and then “read” them to “the kids” (because you are the teacher.) That’s how I started, I memorized “Whose Mouse Are You?” So I believe that you are on the verge of reading – not that I’m pushing you or anything, and not that I have to, you absolutely love books.

On a sad note, you are learning that the world is not perfect, and not everyone is nice. We discovered that your daddy’s car was stolen on Christmas Eve morning. When I told you that daddy’s car was gone, you asked “why?” And I told you that people took it who weren’t supposed to, but that it would be okay, everything was going to be fine. And you said “Angry people? Angry people took daddy’s car?” Yes, I suppose on some level those people must be angry.

Your imagination is so great. Lately you've been "teaching the kids" by reading books and talking to them about things. I actually get in trouble because I hear you talking and I think you're talking to me and you're not, you yell at me about how you're not talking to me, you're talking to "the kids!" Also a couple nights ago you came out of the shower with a baby girl. A teeny tiny baby girl, who you carry around in the palm of your hand and sometimes hand to me to hold and yell at me if you think I might have squished her. You tuck her in at night next to you, and she is "sooooo pretty" and you "just love her!" And poof, my heart melted.

Love,

Mama

Am not dead.

Monthly Newsletter will be up later today - maybe tomorrow, I tried to copy all the picture from the month to a CD to bring to work so I could work on it and then. Well - you know how I took 24 pictures over Thanksgiving? Well, I have like 900 for the month of December. Granted, not all of them relate to a monthly newsletter but they still have to be sorted through and whatnot.

So assuming the kid will cooperate this evening, I will either write the letter and do the accompanying pictures or at least get them copied onto a DVD that I can bring in and work on them tomorrow. (Probably the latter, so don't get your hopes up or anything.

And then we can talk about more fun things.

They moved my office over the holidays. And then I moved myself to the other desk in the office they put me in, because who wants to have people walk up behind them?

Am putting off unpacking, and the bank won't let me pay my mortgage - so my new year has started off just perfect.