Avoid the Noid

I just did the opt-out for this: I look forward to no longer receiving credit card offers on a daily basis. It should reduce my junk mail by 75% - good for the environment and less hassle for me, win-win.

www.optoutprescreen.com

I haven’t done this yet, but for $1 I can stop several other mailings – I believe this includes Valpak coupons, etc. I’d like to see what just the credit bureau business is going to stop and then I’ll move on to the other stuff.

https://www.dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offmailing

And for the annoying phone calls – if you registered your number when this thing first came out, it’s about to expire, you can check when it expires and re-up at this web-site. I registered mine 6/30/2003, it wasn’t going to expire for another year, but I thought, why risk it, and re-registered it.

www.donotcall.gov

Today's Lessons (#3 & #4)

When you're feeling like you’re missing something when you leave in the morning, you probably are. I normally take 4 bottles, 4 lids, and ice packs with me to work for pumping. One of the lids I brought yesterday was actually a ring – the kind you hold the nipple on the bottle with. And no ice packs. Thank god we have ice at work and I was able to pack a grocery bag with it. And I made the 3 bottles I did have work. Oh and I sent Landon off without a sippy cup – not that he uses it really.

Additional lesson, when your dogs are behaving themselves so well at dinner that you wonder where they are. Confirm where BOTH of them are, not just one. One asleep under the table, one outside eating grass until she pukes.

Videos Galore

I apologize, this is really dark. We'll try again later



Landon's first sand box experience.

Pop!

My bubble …it has been burst.

And I just…I can’t think of any words

There are no words right now. None. Well, there’s one word.

Craptastic.

There are also other words, but since my Grandma reads this blog, I’m not going to use them.

I sat on this for a day thinking it would be easier to write about and it’s just, it’s not.

It’s not easier. I should be used to it by now, because the cycle of my life is that I come up with a plan, a plan that has worked for 100s of other people, a plan I’m very excited about, I begin to implement that plan, and the universe takes a giant crap on my head. I brush the poop off and I reorganize my plan and I keep trying, I morph my plan until it only vaguely resembles my original plan and yet, I still am not making any headway.

Maybe that’s why I’m so hesitant to try new things, I figure it’s not going to work out for me anyway, why try. But this one was important to me and this one was a real plan and I thought I was done.

Remember my ethical dilemma? No, not the dead animal one, the early certificate one. If I hadn't been so ethical, I wouldn't be dealing with this right now. All I had left to do was paperwork and a test and they changed the rules on me 1 day after my last requirement was complete, but before I had a chance to apply. If I had taken that stupid early certificate and applied when I got it, I'd be on my way. But I didn't, I didn't think it was ethical. And NOW it's going to cost me a lot of money.

Hey, guess what though, I never learn. I have a NEW plan.

Actually I have 2 plans, 3 if you count the one where I plan to win the lotto. One of the 2 depends heavily on the willingness of a 3rd party. So once I contact him and get the “No Way.” Or the “Okay.” I will unveil my new plan. Plan #5697.

A New Direction

Landon has been standing up in the middle of the floor on his own for some time. He has been cruising along holding on to various pieces of furniture and toys.

On Saturday afternoon he took his first unassisted step. To me! Completely unprovoked! Mah preshus babee is growing up.

Of course he has no idea what he did. And he's only done it once since then, towards Clint.

Video of him with a walker cart thingy to come later this week.

Wordless Wednesday

Explanation

The last post was a favor to a friend.

There’s a special place in our hearts for gnomes. She may very well have a painted cement garden gnome in her parents’ attic, and we may or may not have spent several days out in her backyard creating homes for gnomes…actually that might have been the fairies, but whatever, we liked the gnomes.

In Scotland there’s a loch, Loch Fyne to be exact where scuba divers have dropped gnomes in a certain area, creating an underground gnome garden. The main dropper of gnomes says he encourages others to drop their gnomes as well.

The idea behind the post is that “I dropped my gnome in it” could conceivably replace “I put my two cents in.”

I also believe is could replace other sayings, it’s a smurf of a saying:

“Shut Up!” “Oh, drop a gnome in it.”
“It’s not rocket science.” “It’s not gnome dropping.”

So, go forth and gnome it up.

Getting it out there

I do not normally post my views on politics or religion or parenting decisions on my blog. As such I will probably never get the “you have arrived” hate mail that the big bloggers seem to get. As it is, either you know me or Clint, or you came here looking for a recipe for tomato soup from scratch, and a select few of you may have followed a link when I commented on your site. As a matter of fact I’m having a lot of trouble trying to make a controversial post just to get a 6 word sentence on the end out into the world.

Why? There are 2 categories really:

Category 1: I don’t care about the decisions in your life that have no bearing on mine.
Category 2: I think you're a person capable of making informed decisions and do not need my opinion unless you ask for it.

But mainly, I don't care.

I don’t care if you’re gay or straight or married or civil unioned. I don’t care if you bottle feed or breastfeed your baby. I don’t care if you’re Buddhist or Christian. Or Muslim, or Atheist, or Wiccan. I don’t care if you co-sleep or crib sleep. I don’t care if you use cloth or disposable diapers. I also don’t care what kind of toilet paper you use, so there! I don’t care if you work or stay home. I don’t care if you make $1,000,000 and I don’t care if you don’t even make $10. I don’t care if you have 17 children, or 7 children, or maybe none. I don't care if you potty train at 2 or 3 or 4 or beyond. I don't care if you homeschool or send your kids to public school. I don't care if you're a democrat or republican. I don't care what kind of car you drive. I don't care if you have an abortion or not. I don't care if you circumcise or not, I don't care if you vaccinate or not.

It's not my business.

So there, "I dropped my gnome in it."

Solid proof that the truck is mine

Clint and I had a gas mileage conversation last weekend where he discovered that I had been getting about 400 miles/tank, and a tank was lasting me 9 days. In which I revealed that I was not using the A/C unless absolutely necessary. Disturbed that I was able to do this and that he never was when he drove the truck, and inspired by how I achieved it, this week, he didn’t use his A/C all week and still got the same gas mileage in his car. He suffered for nothing.

Just wait until he hears this: I last filled up on August 30. I still have half a tank of gas.

BWAHAHAHAHA!!

The Next Jerry Lee Lewis

Except without all that cousin marrying stuff.

Trying something new...

Doing it the normal way, just in case.

Which do you prefer? Format wise?

Small Change Challenge – The cop-out

What?

It’s September already?

No seriously, so much stuff I didn’t do this month.

I was supposed to donate to a school supply drive. There was one at work, but it was the brokest week of our lives, so I didn’t get to buy anything for it and all of the sudden it was over.

**Rummages through desk.**

What did I do, what did I do…I gave a co-worker one of my apple pies. He’s not a kid, he could have afforded his own apple pie. Doesn’t count.

My bone marrow donation card came in. I already used that one though.

I think this is the month I have to use my ace in the hole. This is the month I have to play that card and it means for the rest of the year I have to behave myself and actually follow through on challenges.

Dang it.

Here it goes.

I’m a Girl Scout leader. I have been for 5 years, this school year will be our troop’s 6th year. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting in my office, bored off my butt, thinking, what I need is an extra curricular activity. I know! I’ll get my sister to let me be a Daisy leader for her daughter. When I was a brownie, my troop leader was a young engineer – she wasn’t even related to anyone in the troop. And so I called and began the arduous process of setting it up.

I got online and I heard all these horror stories about troops and parents and behavior problems and un-reliability. I was scared. But I have been blessed with quite possibly the best troop ever.

I don’t mind doing the paperwork. And when I decided to have a baby, I told the Moms that I needed more help, and they stepped up (well, those who didn’t, quit.) I have 7 girls in my troop. And I love every one of them. I am so glad I did this, it’s totally worth it.

Hey, I can even tie this into the month of August. This month we took the girls on their annual cookie trip. My parents allowed us to use their lake house, we built a campfire, took a night hike, looked at stars, swam, played a little bit with compasses (the directional kind, not the circle kind.) They had a blast. They earned 3 badges and had a blast doing it. Their only complaint? Why can’t we stay longer?

Monthly Newsletter #11

Dear Landon,

It’s been almost a year. It doesn’t seem that long. Well, some parts do. Like Wednesday evening, when you were just plain mad all evening. And when I finally got you down and took my shower and was just about to drift off to sleep, you were up and mad again. Presumably because you were awake. Or maybe you were still mad that we had the audacity to make you be born 11 months ago. Or maybe you were upset at the news coverage, I guess it was a slow news day so everyone decided to replay news from 2 years ago. We want news, not olds, people.

But I wanted to poke her with the dinosaur...

It finally stopped raining long enough to get in the pool a few times this month. You are kicking like a pro, and I can get you to motorboat every once in a while. We’re still working on not diving head first into the water and trying to breathe it. It’s physics really, and as much as I’d like to change that for you, I don’t have the power.

Get me!!

I think we need to talk about sharing. Sharing is a good thing. You should share your toys with other kids; it will help you make friends. I’ve been trying to do some type of charity all year (and probably will continue to try to do something once a month for ever) to instill the idea that you should share your wealth in one way or another. But there are some things you should keep to yourself, and some things that have rules. The dogs share their toys with you, but you should not share your toys with the dogs. Primarily because their toys don’t rip to shreds as easily as yours do. While I understand the urge to give them the rest of your chicken, as fast as you can, so mama can’t stop you, and watch them scurry around like fish in a tank at feeding time trying to eat it all before they get caught. This actually teaches them to beg from you. And while I see that you don’t mind sharing your wagon wheels with them. A lick for Scarlett, a lick for you, a lick for Scarlett, a lick for you. One day you’ll have set out a pound of bacon on the counter for breakfast, you’ll turn back to the fridge to get the eggs out, and you’ll turn around just in time to see Scarlett make off with the bacon. You’ll chase after her and she’ll swallow the whole thing in 3 gulps, it’s like she’s a python and can unhinge her jaw. And that’s not something that we want to teach her is ok. Bacon is sacred. Also when I tell your girl friends in high school that you used to share food with the dogs like that, they might not want to kiss you, and you will want them to kiss you.

I know it's in here somewhere.

You seem to have a need to put things inside of other things. If I hand you one small toy, it’s not all that cool, if I hand you a container to put said toy in and take it out and put it in and take it out and put it in and take it out, its da bomb! So I can see the allure of the dogs’ food bowls. Lots of little stuff to take out and put in and take out and put in. Plus, it’s small enough to put in your mouth, and it must taste ok, you keep doing it. When you’re older and have molars and can crunch it, I probably won’t stop you from eating it, but for now? Stop trying to eat the dog food. I’m sure it won’t hurt you nutritionally, but since you have no molars, it’s a choking hazard and the very last thing I want to do after giving you the Heimlich is tell the good doctor that you were eating dog food. I know, you share your food with them, they should share their food with you, by all accounts it’s totally unfair of me to put those kind of restrictions on you. There’s a whole nother separate issue about how some dogs don’t appreciate you messing with their food, and while our dogs seem ok with it, I don’t want to get a call from your friend’s mother about how you were trying to get a snack from the dog bowl and their dog bit you. I’m such an evil mother. You can tell your therapist all about it, and how I outted you to the internet as well.

Who knew door stoppers were so much fun.

Other people’s dogs will also probably not tolerate you whacking them with a spatula for the fun of it. Poor Scarlett just sits there and takes it. Fiona at least has the sense to get up and walk away, she knows she’s faster than you and you can’t catch her. Yet. I don’t know if it’s that Scarlett thinks it’s ok that you do that to her, that she thinks she’ll be in trouble for abandoning you, or if she’s just biding her time so she can lick your face again and maybe get some of your leftovers that you like to carry around on your cheeks.

Eeeew pink!

This past weekend we bought you a new slotted spoon and spatula. The whacking that followed was more whacking than an entire season of Sopranos. Shortly after purchasing them, the sky fell out and we were stuck in the store for a good 15-20 minutes before I had enough of the whacking of the display where we were sitting, trying to wait it out and we just walked through the pouring rain out to the car. We also went to a kitchen and bath store, the kitchen section is your play ground. You know how some kids throw a fit when you make them leave the toy store or the toy aisle. Hell hath no fury like an infant parted from his measuring cups.

Do you really think you deserve this?

Next month you turn 1. I can hardly believe it has almost been a year since you took over as CEO of the Wood Life. I hope you realize that the position as CEO is not a lifetime position and one day the tides will turn. After this stint you should realize that you may not be CEO again until you move out. Enjoy it while you can.

Love,
Mom