Put this on this list of things I never thought I'd say

"No Jack, you are only allowed to touch your OWN penis!"

 

Yeah, okay, maybe that warrants an explanation.  I'm taking care of an extra 2 year old this week (Jack) while his parents are on vacation.  And the way I see it, 2 year olds and 4 years olds can bathe at the same time.  The first night I ended up with 2 naked boys to be dried off side by side - hence the grab, hence the saying.  I have since learned that leaving the big one in the shower while I tend to the little one works much better.  No penis grabbing or wet naked running around the house.

 

The rest of my vocabulary has been reduced to the following:

 

"Leave it!"

 

"Put it back."

 

"Come on boys."

 

"No hitting!"

 

"You have to share."

 

"No screaming."

 

There are, by the way, huge perks in this arrangement, not the least of which is that when I tell Landon that Jack is awake in the morning, Landon wakes up and gets moving and we've actually left the house earlier every day this week than we do when I have one less person to get out the door, not to mention the fact that we're eating breakfast at home, and normally we eat in the car on the way to school or at school.  The math on that equation doesn't quite add up, but never look a gift horse in the mouth.  (A saying I thought was because horses spit or bite or something, but then I remembered it's camels that spit, so you should probably also not be looking gift camels in the mouth either.  And because I can't leave anything alone, I now know that it's because if someone gave you a horse and you looked in their mouth you could figure out their age, thereby assessing the value of the gift, which you're not supposed to do, tis rude.)

 

Luckily for me, Jack is the kind of baby you can put in his crib at 8:30 and walk away from, and not have to deal with him again until morning.  And the kind of baby who fusses for about 15-20 seconds and then gets on with his life when something he doesn't like is happening.  I would keep him if I thought I could get away with it.